Summary: Kyle Idleman of Southeast Christian Church asks the hard questions about our level of commitment to Jesus and the faith.

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D –T –R. Some of you will recognize what these letters stand for. How many of you know what the letters DTR stand for? For a young man in a relationship, these letters strike fear in their hearts. They dread the DTR talk. It makes single men so uncomfortable they will only use the initials DTR. The objective is to postpone, run away, and put off DTR for as long as possible. In fact many men are so afraid of the DTR, they will terminate the relationship when they sense the DTR talk is imminent. Now do you want to guess what DTR stands for? D.T.R. stands for Define the Relationship. This is an official talk that takes place at some point in a romantic relationship to determine the level of commitment. You define the relationship and decide where things stand – is it casual, or is it committed? I remember one time going on a date in high school and on the first date – she tried to have the DTR – and that relationship ended PDQ. I just ran away. But there comes a point when it’s important to Define the Relationship and you see if things have moved passed infatuation or admiration and moving towards deeper devotion and commitment. And how you feel about the DTR talk is determined by how committed you are to the relationship. If the relationship is one of convenience that you want to be just a casual weekend thing – then you will feel uncomfortable. You will feel anxious. Your mind will be flying with excuses…you may even have a fight or flight response.

Some of you may have those same feelings in the next few weeks, because we’re going

to have a little DTR talk. I want you to Define the relationship between you and Jesus. What exactly is the commitment level? Now I’m going to warn you that some of you are going to get a little uncomfortable, a little anxious…you may even have a fight or flight response because you kind of like the current arrangement you have with Jesus. He seems like a good guy – and you like having something to do on the weekends – what it comes down to is this - you want to have a relationship with Jesus with all the benefits but none of the commitment. A No Strings Attached arrangement – where you can connect with him from time to time – but it doesn’t really mess with your life. You want to be a fan of Jesus – but not a follower. In Luke 9:23 Jesus put it this way “If anyone would come after me he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me. Followers deny themselves, take up their cross and follow him... A fan is simply defined as an enthusiastic admirer. And the DTR question is this:

Are you a fan or a follower?

As you read through the Gospels you will find example after example where Jesus will put people in a position where they must choose… Sometimes there were large crowds following him like in Luke 14 and John 6 – and Jesus would preach a sermon that would determine who in the crowd were fans and who were followers.

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Robert Harmon

commented on Oct 5, 2010

Honestly one of the most powerful messages I have ever studied. Every preacher should sit down, study it, and reflect on I in it for Christ as a fan, or am I a serious, on my knees follower!? Once we answer it, we need to help our people to answer it! Thanks Kyle, for preaching it by the Book!

Marcia Smith

commented on Jan 5, 2011

Thank you. This is one of the best messages I''ve read!! Great illustrations!

Jim Cross

commented on Mar 9, 2012

Very good message, thank you for the thoughts. I love the raised in the church vs raised in Christ analogy.

Terry Bushnell

commented on Jun 19, 2014

Well said! I like the illustration of the man that said "your preaching interfered with his life." Also the one about 'raised in church but not in Christ'.

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