Summary: How is the Christian to relate to his adult children and when does emancipation occur?
November 14 2001
Central Christian Church
St Petersburg, Fl
At what point does the parenting relationship change?
Is it when your child turns 18? Is it when they move out of your home? Is it when they marry? Is it after you have finished paying for college and they start their career?
Some things are certain and clear while this parenting relationship is not as clear, one thing for certain is that before your children are emancipated they are under your control and jurisdiction.
While you are raising your children they are to submit to your authority, be responsible, respectful and fun to be with.
As a matter of fact one of the 10 commandments reads: Exo 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
we see that in Lev 20:9 ’If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him. Deu. 21:18-21.
And we know also that parents have a responsibility to raise up Godly children. Children who are responsible, respectful and fun to be with!
Keeping in mind I hope that what we sow- so shall we reap.
If we do not train our children to be responsible by imposing consequences for their inappropriate actions and behaviors- the parenting process will take a whole lot longer or it might not ever happen at all.
The cost to the child as they try to transition into adulthood will be high!
In that case we will be stuck with an adult child who never learned how to become a respectful, responsible adult and our relationship with them can never advance to the next more enjoyable and satisfying level.
From Moses we get these words:
Deu 6:4 "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!
Deu 6:5 "And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Deu 6:6 "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart;
Deu 6:7 and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deu 6:8 "And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.
Deu 6:9 "And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
But the question tonight is when does the relationship between parent and child change and how should it change?
If the child has learned from their parents, by their example, as well as by their training which I call consequences with empathy. (explain) The transition should be smooth without a high cost to the young adult child.
But when does it occur, well I believe I can make a case from the OT as well as from the NT, that for the unmarried virgin daughter, that does not occur until she is married. She basically goes from her father’s protection to her husband’s protection.