Summary: There are broken hearts everywhere around us today, even here in our church. But Jesus Christ can heal your broken heart. How does He do it?
Jesus Can 2007
Part 5 - Jesus Can Soothe Me.
Sermon by: Rick Crandall - March 4, 2007
*This sermon was preceded by a testimony from a one of our members. Here is an edited version of the testimony:
The title of Bro. Rick’s current sermon series is “What Can Jesus Do For Me?” Well, on a personal note I could re-title that “What Has Jesus Done For Me?” I could fill a book telling you how Jesus Christ has impacted my life and I’d just be getting started. But since today we’re talking about “How Jesus Can Soothe You,” I’d like to tell you about that.
To look at me you’d think “She never has any problems.” And you’d be pretty close to right. I feel I’ve been the most blessed person on the planet. A year or so after our first child was born I became very ill. After several months of tests they found out I had clinical depression.
This was back when not as much was known about it and it wasn’t talked about. In fact, I had heard that Christians didn’t get depressed and if they did for any period of time there was something spiritually wrong. Why should I be depressed? There was absolutely no reason – everything was great. I had a beautiful baby girl, a wonderful husband, great friends, great church family, and most of all I felt closer to my Savior than I ever had. But I wanted to die.
I was very confused but thankfully God provided modern medicine and I got better, in fact I felt better than I had in years. But because of the stigma at that time it was hard to tell anyone.
Well, fast forward about ten years. We found out we were expecting our second child and for the first time, I had to get off my medication. I wasn’t worried because I was told pregnancy was a natural anti depressant. It wasn’t for me.
To make a long story as short as possible, I was pretty sick by the time I delivered [our little girl]. But, because I wanted to nurse her like I had [her sister], I did not resume my medicine when she was born, against the advice of my doctor and my husband. I have to say that [he] was absolutely wonderful through all this. He would have literally given his life to have made me better – but he couldn’t.
After about three months of struggling and getting progressively worse, of being mad at God for making me like this, of asking Him why I couldn’t just be a normal mother and nurse my child without having to go through this, of asking Him “what did I do to deserve this?” I started saying things to myself like “They’d be better off without me. I was a mistake. God why don’t you just take me now? If I crash the car they’ll have to go through the hassle of getting a new one, so I guess I’ll have to find another way.”
You see, the best way I can describe severe depression is a living death. And you don’t think rationally when you’re in the middle of that. You don’t think: “Just get back on the medicine.” I was still dealing with the idea that Christians don’t take pills to feel better. I was defective.
So one day when [my husband] had the baby, I sneaked away to the bathroom with pen and paper and a bottle of pills. I wrote a letter to him and [my older daughter] telling them how much I loved them and how this wasn’t their fault.
And then I told them to tell [our new baby] how much her mama loved her.
That’s when I stopped – [she] wouldn’t remember me. I dropped everything and I fell on my knees on the floor. I looked up and I cried out “God, help me!” No long fancy prayers – just “God, help me!”
Now I can’t tell you that I heard His voice, and I can’t tell you I felt Him saying OK here’s what you need to do, or that my depression started to go away that day. But what I felt wash over me was something I can’t explain. It was total comfort and peace. It was like I was leaning into the bosom of Jesus and He had His arms around me and He was saying, “I know, I know. Just rest here a while and let me love you.”
Yes, I got back on my medicine, and yes, praise God, I got better quickly. And I do encourage people to read about depression or whatever your problem is from a Christian perspective, and talk to Godly people about it. But that day when I wanted to end my life, my salvation, my soothing, came not from a pill or a book or even a friend, but from Him. Give me Jesus.