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Summary: If we want our marriages to be vibrant and happy, we must work towards getting back to the love we had for each other when we first got married. Here are some practical counsel from God’s word on how we can make love grow in our marriages.

We read in Ecclesiastes 4:9, “Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively.” (GNB)

The counsel that we receive from the word of God as mentioned in the above verse, is that two are far better than one, as together they can work far more efficiently on any given task. Some may be led to believe from their experience that is it good to be single, but the word of God is clear cut, that it is extremely beneficial for us to function as a couple, rather than do so all alone.

I sent this verse to a husband who was facing marital problems, and this was the reply I received back from him. He quoted to me, Proverbs 21:19, which says, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelling and angry woman.” (GW) This is just a misunderstanding of the scriptures, as one has to comprehend God’s instruction for marriage in its totality as God intended it to be understood.

In many families the problem is that they are trying to find a solution for their marital disputes outside of the word of God, imagining that they can overcome all the difficulties they encounter on their own. This is an impossibility, as it is only when our families are built on the word of God that they will prosper, and live in unison as God determined for us.

Reminisce on your days as newly weds

Almost every couple who are married can recapture those initial days as a newly wedded couple, the intensity of love they had for each other, the intimate talks, happy moments and vows they made to stand by each other, no matter what. However, sadly as time goes by, in many couples these feelings for each other lessens. The word of God gives us some practical instructions as to how a husband and wife can repossess that first love that they had for each other.

Jacob’s love for Rachel

In Genesis 29:15, we read, “Laban said to Jacob, "You shouldn't work for me for nothing just because you are my relative. How much pay do you want?" (GNB)

We read in Genesis 29:18, “Jacob was in love with Rachel, so he said, "I will work seven years for you, if you will let me marry Rachel." (GNB)

Jacob was in love with Laban’s younger daughter Rachel. His love for Rachel was so intense that when Laban asked Jacob what would be the wage he expected for working for him, Jacob told Laban that he was willing to work for him for seven long years, so he could marry Rachel.

We read in Genesis 29:20, “Jacob worked seven years so that he could have Rachel, and the time seemed like only a few days to him, because he loved her.” (GNB)

Jacob was so much in love with Rachel that those seven years seemed only like a few days to him.

For most of us our marriages began exactly like how it did for Jacob and Rachel. We too had deep love for each other, but as the years go by, we begin to find fault with each other and gradually our love for each other dwindles. The enemy in his cunning is targeting families, bringing about division and breaking down marriages, because he is fully aware that when marriages break down, families disintegrate, and this leads to the collapse of society. Satan is fighting against the institution of marriage only because it is ordained by God, and all that God considers good, the enemy is all out to destroy.

At the beginning of creation in the Garden of Eden, God gave man and woman the liberty to eat of all of the fruits from all the trees in the Garden except one. Have you noticed how from the inception of creation when God forbade man to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for his own good, Satan craftily entered and deceived them into believing that there was nothing bad about it. The consequence of their disobedience finally turned out for the detriment of all mankind.

When God says that marriage is good, the enemy is propagating the opposite. Someone said marriage is like being in a cage, those who are outside want to get in, and those who are in are wanting to escape. This is a misunderstanding of marriage, simply because many have not understood marriage from God’s perspective, and also have not comprehended what was God’s purpose for instituting marriage.

I would like to ask a question to all parents. How many of you feel my children should have a marriage just like yours, and how many of you feel my children should never ever have a marriage like yours? For those who feel such regret in their marriage, it is important that they decide to set things right, or what could happen is that the same scenario will repeat in the life of their children.

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