Summary: This message is the introduction and chapter one of my book entitled, "Sex and the Single Life." Pick up the book @


In an article entitled, “Why Unmarried Christians Are Having Sex” published by Urban Faith on July 24, 2012. Chanel Graham quotes in this piece a startling statistic from the National Association of Evangelicals.

80% of unmarried evangelical Christians between ages 18-29 admit to having had premarital sex.

This statistic almost mirrors the same data from a book entitled, “Premarital Sex In America, How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marrying,” by Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker.

Only 4 % of all 18-23 year old women are currently in a romantic relationship but not sexually involved with the person whom they are seeing. In other words, among all emerging adult women in any form of romantic relationship, only about 6% are not having sex of some sort.

With this information published by Oxford University Press in 2011, we can surmise that 96% of young women are having sex outside the commitment of marriage. Sadly, Evangelical Christian singles are not that far behind in the statistical sexually immorality.

One of the strongest natural forces in our world today is our sexuality. It is the subliminal force that is destroying future marriages for singles. However, you may ask, how is having sex outside of nuptials destroying marriages? C.S. Lewis says, “The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of unions which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union.” God intended the sexual union to be a part of the total union of commitment for life. Sex without a life time commitment of marriage will eventually reap havoc in your life.

If you are a female and practice sex without commitment, it will lead you down the path of a dead-end relationship. Chip Ingram gives his insight into the modern monstrosity of sex and the single life. “If we are going to love somebody, we will not take, exploit or cheapen him or her. We will not engage in sexual activity to create pseudo-intimacy that is false because we don't really care and we're not really committed. We won't substitute sex for authentic intimacy.” If you want a man to commit to you for the right reason than saving sexual intimacy for marriage. We tell singles to save sex for marriage, but we do not teach them how to protect intimacy for future matrimony.

In a Facebook post that was dated on January 9, 2016 by Onuawuchi B. Ejezie. She simply posted these powerful words.

Dear Christian Brothers and Sisters,

HOLINESS is still right!

The sexual life of the unmarried person is of great concern to God. However, there aren’t any bible teachers who are willing to declare God’s will on this issue. We will deal with this issue of single sexuality in a sexually charged world in “Sex and the Single Life.”

The lack of sexuality in married couples life is destroying present marriages. God created sex to be a bonding agent in a loving and committed marriage. All married couples be on the lookout for the next book in this 7VerseSeries entitled, “Sex and the Married Life.”

1. Sex and Depredation

Judges 19:22-29 NLT

The story I am about to share with you from the bible is one of the most disturbing stories that I have ever read in the bible. As I read my bible during my personal devotion time in a year, I am truly horrified each that that I read this story. I have never preached from this text and I have never heard a sermon preached from this text. I struggle with God when He was leading me to choose this text for this book. Pastor Robert L. (Bob) Deffinbaugh on shares his experience with Judges 19 in a message entitled, “Israel’s Dark Ages.”

A number of years ago I was preaching through the Book of Judges. Our custom was to have one of the men in the church read the Scripture text and then pray before I would preach. The text was Judges 19. This text is so distressing that something happened for the first time in my preaching ministry – my request to read the biblical text and to pray was declined. Mind you, this did not happen just once; it happened two or three times, until one man finally agreed to read it. On Sunday morning, when it was time for him to read the passage, he said something like this: “I know it is customary for one to read the text and then pray, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to pray before I read.”

Before I could deal with the text in this book I had to pray! However, God was not concern about my discomfort. God want to deal with sexual depredation in this book in a effort to get singles to live sexual Holy.

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