Summary: The role of a woman in initiating the marriage process.

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Prov 18:22

Ruth 3:1-11

With modernization and the women having more voice in society, many are contesting the truth in the assertion and our practice that it is the man who must approach the woman or raise the issue of marriage with the pastor first, and not the woman. The argument has always been that Prov 18:22 simply refers to the man as being the one that finds the wife. We are also aware that scripturally the man is the head of the wife and accordingly must take the lead or play the leading role in initiating the union.

I have also looked throughout the bible and you will observe that in all cases it was the man who initiated discussions concerning marriage as revealed in the case of Ruth and Boaz.

But some may argue that times have changed tremendously since bible times. These days we have women playing more active and prominent role in society, and many believe that this process is outmoded and no more fashionable. A lot of sisters are saying that this accounts for why sisters in the church appear to be shortchanged in the area of marriage as against those in the world who are taking more pragmatic steps to get married. I have also taken time to ponder if it remains right to expect the sisters to continue to take a passive role in the initiation of marriage relationship.

One thing that time cannot change is the principle of the word of God. The man remains the head of the family, even if the woman is the main provider in the house. At all times she is expected to be submissive to her husband. Eph 5:22 says wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord,

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body.

The wife is expected to be submissive to her husband in everything. The bible also teaches us how this duty of submissiveness operates without its being oppressive, and manipulatory. 1 Pet 3:1-7 is also very instructive on the details of the marriage relationship and the place of the man and the wife. Col 3:18-21. If everyone understands his role and walks in it there will be no problem and all will be greatly blessed. These things cannot be changed by modern practices, but are applicable in this present environment to ensure that we get the best from life.

The marriage relationship is very complex and can best be handled within the context of the word of God. Many of us are putting the ark upon brand new carts hoping that it will produce better results. David should have known better, that God never needs our help to come through for us. Uzzah should have known better that this was the same ark that protected itself for years in the hands of the Philistines. He was struck dead because he tried to stop the ark from falling when the oxen shook in 2 Sam 6:1-7.

God will always use men of God to give us instructions on how we shall go about specific areas of our Christian experience. It is the manner of God, so that we can remain under the leadership of his servants. There are some things about your life that you will never know unless it is explained to you by a man of God. Ps 103:7 while God made his ways known unto Moses, the children of Israel were only made familiar with his acts.

Amos 3:7 Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he reveals his secrets unto his servants the prophets.

Those instructions may not even make sense to us, but God expects us to be obedient to them, as long as it does not require you to commit a sin. God permits it because there must be order in the house of God and when we are allowed to do things in our own ways it allows for disorder and that is the terrain of the devil. When David became king of Israel, one of the things that he did was to bring order to the way God was worshipped in the temple and put the organized the manner of functioning of the Levites and the priests. 1 Chr 23-26.

Ezekiel 44:23 says it is the responsibility of the priest to teach the people the difference between the holy and the profane, and cause them to discern between the unclean and the clean

If women begin to take the initiative, there are things that will happen in the course of the marriage that will put that process to question. In most cases where a marriage breaks it is usually the man as the dominant partner who takes a walk and not the woman. A lot of times the obligation brought about by the fact that they initiated the process will keep them in the marriage. There is also the need for the man to begin to be in charge of the marriage from the onset so that it will be easier for the wife to be submissive. Especially these days, it is getting more difficult for women to submit because of their growing influence.

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