Summary: Spiritual gifts are demonstrated when God chooses to supernaturally use someone outside of their personality type.
(Gotquestions.org) When people speak of spiritual gifts, the focus is often on questions like, “Do you know what your spiritual gift is?” or “Have you taken this spiritual gifts survey?” While the knowledge of one's gifting can be beneficial, we often lose sight of God's design in these matters. Yes, the particular gifts of the Spirit are benefits to each believer, but they come with great responsibilities.
Romans 12:6-8 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
Listed in Romans are the ministry gifts: Service, teaching, exhortation (a fancy word for encouragement), contribution (a fancy word for giving, leadership, and mercy.
In 1 Corinthians 12, we see what is normally known as manifestation and speaking gifts.
1Corinthians 12:4-11 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; 5 and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6 and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. 7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 8 For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.
The list of gifts mentioned are: gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment, and languages.
1Pe 4:10-11 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies--in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Peter does not specifically list gifts, but instructs on how to be good stewards of God's spiritual gifts.
There is much teaching about spiritual gifts and many surveys and tests available said to etermine one's spiritual gifts. However, let's simply just take from the scripture what we can and I want to toss something outfor your prayerful consideration that may answer the mystery of spiritual gifts for you.
Look at Romans 12.
1. If you have a spiritual gift, use it.
Romans 12:6a Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.
That means to me that the Spirit can move you to use a gift and you can remain silent and uncooperative. Otherwise, that instruction was a waste of ink. I don't believe there is any wasted ink in the Bible.