Summary: God has created men and women with equal status and value, but with different roles. God has given the primary role of spiritual leadership in the church and in the home to men. God has very high expectations for the kind of leadership men employ in the home and in the church.


A. The story is told of two police officers who responded to a call from the dispatcher concerning a bad traffic accident.

1. When they arrived on the scene, they found a father, mother and two children who were all unconscious inside the wrecked car.

2. After the ambulances arrived and began loading the family, the officers discovered that there was also a monkey inside the car and the monkey was conscious.

3. Since he was the only conscious witness to the accident they decided to try to ask him some questions.

4. They asked the monkey, “Do you know what the father was doing before the accident?”

a. The monkey gestured drinking from a bottle. One of the officers said, “Makes sense.”

5. They asked the monkey, “What was the mother doing?

a. The monkey gestured shaking his finger and frowning.

b. The officer said, “Now we are getting somewhere. The father was drinking and the mother was getting on him about it.”

6. Then they asked the monkey, “What were the children doing?”

a. The monkey gestured the children fighting with each other.

b. The officers look at each other and agree, “Well, with all that going on, it was inevitable that they were going to have an accident.”

7. The two officers turned to walk away, when one of them decided to ask the monkey one more question: “By the way, what were you doing the whole time?”

8. The monkey gestured driving the car.

B. Today I want to talk about spiritual leadership in the church and in the home.

1. In last week’s sermon, we explored what the Bible says about God’s plan for the distinctive roles for men and women in the church.

a. We learned that men and women have equal status and value, but have distinctive roles.

b. We learned that God has given the primary role of spiritual leadership in the church and in the home to men.

2. Today I want to begin with an obvious question: What kind of men are supposed to be steering the church and the home?

3. The right answer is not men acting like silly monkeys!

a. Although, if you know me well, you know that sometimes I like to pretend to turn into a monkey when I eat a banana in front of children. It’s a lot of fun!

4. What kind of men are supposed to be steering the church and the home? Spiritual men of God!

5. In today’s sermon I want us to look at the Biblical verses that focus on God’s expectations for male spiritual leaders in the church and in the home.

6. What kinds of things should the women we are leading in the church and the home expect from their male spiritual leaders?

a. It is important that all of us know the answer to that question.

b. And if you don’t already know the answer, let me simply say the calling and expectations for male spiritual leaders is high.

c. And although none of us men who are trying to provide leadership in the church and in the home are perfect, and will never be perfect, we must reach to embrace the high calling and expectations of God.

7. With that as an introduction, let’s turn our attention first to God’s expectations for spiritual leaders in the church.

I. Spiritual Leadership in the Church

A. So, who am I talking about when I address male spiritual leaders in the church, I am talking primarily about elders, deacons and evangelists (ministers).

1. Let’s begin with God’s general expectations for spiritual leadership.

2. In Matthew 20, Jesus was approached by the mother of James and John, Zebedee’s sons.

a. As a typical mother, she was interested in advancing the opportunities for her sons.

b. She asked Jesus if her two sons could occupy the positions of honor and power at Jesus’ right and left hands when He sits on His throne in His kingdom.

c. When the other disciples heard what James and John’s mother had requested, they became indignant (in other words, they wished they had made that personal request first!).

d. Jesus used it as an opportunity to teach His apostles about godly, spiritual leadership.

3. Jesus said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them. 26 It must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28)

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