Teaching Our Children Respect For God - Part One Series

* Nip disrespectful behavior in the bud. Train your reflexes to act quickly, responding immediately, if possible. Say to your child, That was disrespectful. Don’t walk away and fume about being talked to that way.

* Cultivate a special tone of voice that communicates, You are in dangerous territory; you would be wise to back off immediately.

* Explain your new policy on respect to your children at a quiet time. Many children are unaware that they are being disrespectful and/or have been allowed to get away with it for years. Children are happier when they’re consistently respectful to the most important adults in their lives.

* Use time outs for noncooperation when your child will not cease the disrespectful behavior. Do not allow a nasty conversation to proceed for long: it’s not good for you, your child, or the relationship. Declare yourself on the disrespectful behavior and abort the conversation rather than letting it escalate. Have a follow-up conversation later, when the storm has passed, listening to your child’s feelings - but insisting on respectful expression of anger in the future.

* Be firm but keep your cool. Confident parenting is most always calm, clear, focused, and assertive in times of conflict.

* Combine zero tolerance with a long-term view. A long-standing problem will not vanish overnight. Give your children time to change to a new, consistent way to behave.

* If the problem is chronic and the preceding strategies don’t seem to work, consider seeking family therapy to focus on your parenting skills. Don’t let the pattern go on for years.

Dr. Doherty’s list does not mention the “s” word (spanking). The Bible does. The Bible also teaches the difference between necessary corporeal punishment and abuse. However, if you are afraid you will warp your child’s personality with a spanking, you are being sinfully negligent as a parent.

I have known many parents who shied-away from disciplining their children. They assumed it was possible to always achieve their objective with reasoning. That may be so – but without firm discipline, your objectives will be far short of what

God’s best is for that child. He said that you are treating that child as illegitimate – an unwanted nuisance.

24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 13:24 (KJV)

6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Hebrews 12:6-8 (KJV)

Children want, and need, the comfort of your discipline, parents. It is a basic need within them to know where the fences are. In a noted scientific experiment one school removed the fence from the playground. They thought the children would play more creatively if the boundaries were removed. What they saw astounded them. The children didn’t play at all….they huddled nearer the classroom and their teachers. To remove discipline is to remove the security children need. It teaches the opposite of respect. It teaches negligence.