Summary: Main Theme/Proposition: If you want to connect in a deep way with your mate or date, you need to have a good name, learn to be best friends, and invoke the help of Jesus. Topics: Inner-Beauty & Attraction, Connecting, Sex, Dating, Relationships, Self-i

As the ushers are coming forward to collect for our offering, I want to begin by saying, “I am excited by about this series on Song of Solomon.” I truly believe this 3000 year old collection of love songs can speak life into our marriages, our dating lives, and all of our relationships. The message of this book is for young and old alike, because God’s word, all of it, is profitable for each and every one of us!


I want to begin my message this morning by getting our minds off our late winter doldrums. Is anybody ready for spring? Let me ask this, how many gardeners do we have in our congregation this morning? Raise your hand, if you consider yourself of gardener? How many of you have planted a garden full of fruits and vegetable or plan to this spring? What are some of your favorite things to plant?

How many of you hear this morning enjoy landscaping? I know Irene, my secretary does. Has anyone seen her yard? Oh my gosh! …Is Art, her husband, in here this morning? So do you ever see Irene in the spring-time?

How many guys are in this category, like to landscape and plant flower gardens? It’s OK guys. You can raise your hands. I won’t make fun of you! ‘Cause I am the one that usually plans and plants all the flower beds and shrubbery at our home. We can still be manly and like making our yard look good! …At least I hope so!

You see, I love making my grass perfect. No weeds! No Dandelions! No Clover! Just, lush, thick, deep green grass, striped perfectly with the lawn mower! Anyone know what I’m talking about?

So why is your pastor talking about lawns and gardening to open his message on The Art of Connecting form a 3000 year old collection of songs about love and making love? You will find out at the end of my message, so stay with me.


Last week we talked about connecting physically, physical attraction, and sex. We learned there is nothing wrong with physical attraction or beauty. It’s good and desirable, but we shouldn’t by the lie that we have to look like a model. We even said Sex is good, but not god. It’s not dirty or evil …but something special and wonderful that should be celebrated in committed marriages. We ended by saying we must strive to be spiritually attractive, attractive on the inside, attractive at the very core of our being. That is what we are going to talk about this morning: How to connect at a heart level and be attractive on the inside.


Have you ever been listening to the radio or your I-pod with friends and a song connected with you on the inside, or the song connected with a your friend and they said something like, “Man, that’s Spiritual,” ‘cause it spoke truth to them about their life or the world they see around you?

Or guys, have you ever been out in the woods in your tree stand. You’ve been out there for hours and not seen a dang thing. But it doesn’t matter because you are having this spiritual experience with being outdoors, in nature. Being outside in the physical universe is connecting with you deeply on the inside? Do you know what I’m talking about?

Do you see my point? There is a connection between our insides, our soul, and our physical universe. There is a connection with what we see, and what we hear, and what we taste and what we touch out here, …that connects with us here: in our hearts, in our inner being, doesn’t it? There is this sense that we are disconnected and we long to connect with each other and our world in a physical sense and an inner, emotional, or spiritual sense, but we have to get the order right.

Video Ashley

I am going to show you two very short video clips as a way of illustrating this. The first video is about Ashley. Take a look:

Ashley was not connected with her parents. Her dad was a drunk and she never saw her mom. She desperately wanted to be connected on the inside (or loved) by another person, but her parents didn’t model how to make this connection, so she connected in the only way she knew how, with her body! She got the order wrong and, it left her empty, without the sense of connectedness she longed for.

Video Lonnie

The next video tells Lonnie’s story: Take a Look:

Lonnie readily admits he did not know how to connect in a real way with girls. He didn’t know how to talk to them, interact with them or how to make them feel good. He didn’t know how to connect with someone on the inside, so he used a physical connection as a substitute for the real inner connection he wanted!

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