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Summary: Part 3 of this marriage series, this message discussing how wives can contribute to a great marriage.

The Art of Marriage

Part 3 – Lessons for Wives

Ephesians 5:33

February 27, 2011

Audio of this message can be heard at www.aberdeenwesleyan.org.


This is the last in a 3-part series on the Art of Marriage.

We’ve talked about the foundation of a marriage being God’s design laid out in Genesis.

Last week I visited with the guys about using Joseph – Jesus’ foster dad – as a model of someone who took care of his wife and children.

Today I want to visit with the ladies.

And the issue I really want to address today is the issue of respect for your husband.

I’m going to talk much more about what that means here in a little bit, because I want you to understand that I’m not saying you ignore his shortcomings and do whatever he says to do, regardless of whether it’s good for the family or not.

That’s not a Scriptural view of marriage. But the Bible does command wives to respect their husbands, just like it commands husbands to love their wives and provide for them. Okay?

Modern culture, and especially TV programs, doesn’t model respect of a wife toward her husband.

Just watch almost any current TV sitcom. The husband is, in most cases, a bumbling idiot who can do almost nothing right, especially when it comes to understanding and loving their wives.

Commercials are the same way.

Just watch TV on any given night – or during any sporting event and tell me I’m wrong.

And I would hope that reasonable people would see the humor in that and at the same time see how false that model is.

Ladies, as we go through this time today, I want you to hear me loud and clear:

Your respect for your husband will affect the strength and success of your marriage.

And to the degree you disrespect your husband, you can expect a weakening and walking toward failure of your marriage.

Ladies – you can make or break your husband and his willingness and ability to fulfill God’s expectations for him as the husband and leader of your family.

You play such a key role in our success as men. And this whole deal of respect is essential to that.

So I hope you’ll catch what I believe God wants to tell you today from a very short passage of Scripture.


Ephesians 5:33

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This short verse will be the foundation of everything I’ll be sharing with you.

I’m going to be sharing a number of things, and while I won’t be putting a Scripture passage with them, all of them are principles you’ll find throughout Scripture.

“Respect” can be a rather loaded term, so I want to start by defining it a bit before we go on to how it applies to respecting your husband.

Respect is both a noun and verb.

Definition of respect:

Noun (Merriam-Webster) 3a – High or special regard.

Verb (M-W) – 1a. To consider worthy of high regard.

Some positions in life are automatically due respect:

- Police officers

- Fire fighters

- Military personnel and their superior officers

- Judges

- Sports officials

On a personal level, some may not deserve your respect. Believe me, I get that.

We’ve all heard stories of police officials, judges, military officers, and referees who, on a personal level, were nothing but slimy jerks.

But their position gives them an authority that in and of itself deserves respect.

One other position that deserves that respect: husbands.

Wives – I KNOW that all husbands are jerks some times, and that some husbands are jerks all the time – it seems to be programmed into their DNA to be selfish idiots who push other people around, including their wives.

The only answer for that is quite frankly, for God to do a miracle in that guy’s life – which I’ll talk about a little later.

How can a wife show respect for her husband? Let me give you 3 ways you can really make a difference in the life of your husband – and therefore your marriage.

Here’s the first on:

1. Allow him to lead.

I know it’s not very politically correct nowadays, but the fact of the matter from Scripture is that the man is the head of the household, as Christ is the head of the Church.

The bottom line of what that means is that God is holding him responsible for the direction – right or wrong – of his family.

That, ladies, is a huge burden for the man who understands that.

It’s so important that you allow him to lead the family, especially financially (in providing for you if he is able), relationally, and spiritually.

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