Summary: The most important lesson you will teach your children is to learn biblical submission through the process of teaching them to obey. It is the primary spiritual lesson and foundation of parenting.


It is my firm opinion that people do not know how to parent any longer. As a nation, the last generation of parents failed and now a new generation of parents is trying to discover how to do it with no role model, but only a broken home to look back to.

There is not a more important emphasis for the church, our church, or any church than fighting as hard as we can against the devil and his world system to save and strengthen families. This is why we do family matters. This is why this year we will focus exclusively on parenting.

Your Goal: an adult who walks with God

Your Role: obedience to God’s command to systematically train your child to walk with God

Our Failure: We are losing 8 out of 10 kids by the age of 19.

Studies done by the Southern Baptist Convention, and independent studies in at least two other denominations, reveal that we are losing our church kids. These studies reveal that of the children in church today, 8 out of 10 will not be there o their 19th birthday.

NOTE: our goal = at age19, they are ready to walk with God, but we lose 8 out of 10.

Turn to Ephesians 5 -6 and let’s read selected verses.

In 6: 1-4, you will find this-

3 commands: 3 categories of activities that encompass all of parenting

1) Obey/corollary of do not provoke your kids to wrath

This is the rest of the series for the rest of the month. However, they do no good if you do not get this command. “I do not know how” is an excuse for not wanting to do the hard work. It’s all here in scripture so it is incorrect to say that I do not know how. You just do not want to get it.

2) bring up your child in the training of the Lord

3) bring up your child in the admonition (correction) of the Lord

I. Understanding Respect

Verse 1 commands children to obey. This is an application of a prior truth. As we read, chapter 5 begins by commanding Christians to walk in a sacrificial love, i.e. submission. 5:18 commands us to be submitted to the Holy Spirit. Verse 21 states clearly that being “filled by the Holy Spirit” results in our biblical submission to one another. Paul then writes numerous applications for us: wives to husbands, husbands to wives by loving them the way Jesus did when He died for us, and children to their parents.

Scripture analysis of this passage

• 10 commandments: The first 4 were for God and the next one is this one w/ a promise: obey your parents. Why? God made perfect relationships(Garden of Eden)based on love. Sin messed them up – selfishness was created. To be saved you must submit to His plan. To walk in the loving relationships He created you must walk in submission to those you love. A non-submissive spirit will cause you to lie, cheat, and steal. This is key to the maturation of a child.

• Note: the 10 commandments were given to all of Israel. The command to obey was given to everyone, not just the kids. This command falls on the parents as well as the kids. Where will they learn to obey if not from the parents?

• Parent to child is the basic learning relationship, as well as God’s plan for learning how to live, and to know the Lord. Everything begins or comes unglues in the home.

• We learn to submit to our parents, then we learn to submit to God’s plan. We learn, through submission, how to love those around us – the last 5 commandments.

• See context in Ephesians 4 - every human relationship represented

• Sin creates selfishness. Selfishness creates dysfunction. This destroys every person and every relationship

• Bible never commands parents to love their children you will not find it. Why? Natural. But our hearts are messed up with selfishness. Remember – it always creates dysfunction.

• The command is to discipline and train. To do this we must face our own selfishness and discipline our kids. Hebrews 11 reminds us that “whom a father loves He disciplines.”

Your child will always be dysfunctional until you teach them how to submit. If they never learn submission from you, they will be rebellious and selfish all of their lives. If allowed, their selfishness will control them. How will they be equipped to “die on the cross” for a wife or “submit themselves to a husband” if they are dominated by selfishness? How will a child become teachable if not taught first to submit?

It is not an enjoyable job to teach submission to your kids. In fact, it is probably one of the worst and most UNenjoyable things. But God’s word commands it specifically to be done. Have faith that our Heavenly Father knows how to parent.

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