Summary: I'm not sure where I found this, but it's a prayer by a man and his ensuing conversation with God based on the Lord's Prayer.


April 1, 2001

“Our Father which art in heaven.....”

GOD: Yes? What is it?

Excuse me, I’m praying.

GOD: Ooh.

“Our Father which art in heaven.....”

GOD: Hello, I’m here.

“Can you wait until I’m done.”

GOD: But you called me.

“I did?”

GOD: You said, “our Father who art in heaven.”

I didn’t call you. I’m praying. “Our Father which art in heaven.....”

GOD: There you did it again.

Did What?

GOD: Called me. You said, “Our Father which art in heaven.” Go ahead, I’m listening.

But I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord’s Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done.

GOD: All right. Go on.

Yeah, sure . . . “Hallowed be thy name.....”

GOD: Hold it. You really think so?

Think what?

GOD: Think that my name is hallowed? Of course, you do know what it means! Right?

It means.....Good grief, I don’t know what it means. How should I know? It’s just part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?

GOD: It means holy. You do mean that, right?

Yes, sure.

GOD: Then how about yesterday, you were coming home on 97 and there was that slow moving car. My name was not quite so hallowed, then, was it?

I didn’t mean what I said, I was in a rush coming home.

GOD: How would you like it if whenever someone stubbed their toe or was delayed, they said, “Oh Michael.”


GOD: I forgive you. Now go on.

You know this is going to take forever if you keep interrupting me like that?

GOD: Would that be so bad?

Would what be so bad?

GOD: Talking with me forever?

I don’t know, I never thought about it like that.

GOD: Well, do. It might happen.


GOD: Go on, continue.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

GOD: Woe, are you sure you want all of that?

Want all what?

GOD: My kingdom coming and my will being done.

Well actually, I really like the on earth as it is in heaven. We can use more heaven on earth.

GOD: What are you doing about it?

Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got your will to be done.

GOD: Who did you expect to do it?

Well, since it is your kingdom and your will, I kinda thought, you . . .

GOD: You can’t have a kingdom without subjects.

Well, I go to church.

GOD: It’s really not as hard as you think. You need to love me with all of your heart, all of your soul, with all of your mind and with all of your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.

Oh brother.

GOD: Him too.

Wow!! You know, I’m just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church.

GOD: Excuse me. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is going to happen, it must start with those who are praying for it. Like you, for example.

I haven’t thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some things. I would like to be really free.

GOD: Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. We’ll work together, you and I. Some victories can truly be won. I’m proud of you.

Can we keep moving along?

GOD: Certainly.

“Give us this day, our daily bread.”

GOD: You could actually use a little less bread.

Hey, wait a minute! I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of my shortcomings.

GOD: You know, half of my people ate less today than you ate in one breakfast. Michael, praying is a dangerous thing. You know, you could wind up changed. You called me, and here I am.

Yea, I guess. Picky, picky, picky.

GOD: You want me to do what’s best for you, don’t you?

Yes, but I just asked for a little piece of bread.

GOD: And today the bread I’m giving you is a half hour Bible study, a free night with your family, and an extra $20 deduction from your checkbook to the world hunger group of your choice.

All that for me? You shouldn’t have.

GOD: Hey, I like to give you good things. (Pause) Now on with the prayer.

You know this is taking a long time, maybe we can continue tomorrow.

GOD: It’s too late to stop now. Keep praying, I’m interested in the next part of your prayer. (pause) Well, go on.

I’m scared to.

GOD: Scared? Of what?

I know what you’ll say.

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