Summary: In some form or fashion we all have experienced rejection and felt the effects that it brings with it and will continue to feel them for many years to come. Rejection is a part of life that affects each of us at some point and it’s not limited to only on
The Pitfalls of Rejection
1st Peter 3:14
Whither it was not being picked for the kickball game by the kids in the neighborhood, not making the football team, or the cheerleading squad, not going to the prom with the person you knew you would, or getting into the college you wanted, not getting the job you hoped for, not marring the person you thought you would ever since you were 10 years old, not getting the credit card, or having a marriage that you poured every fiber of your being into and have it destroyed in a moment of lust, by a person you thought was a gift from God. In some form or fashion we all have experienced rejection and felt the effects that it brings with it and will continue to feel them for many years to come. African Americans still feel the effects of being rejected as equal human beings and the results of slavery, Jewish Americans still feel the effects of a means of trying to eliminate a race of people by what is called the Holocaust, every one has felt rejection and suffered from the results of it. Rejection is a part of life that affects each of us at some point and it’s not limited to only one instance. The important thing that we need to learn is not so much how to avoid rejection, but how to avoid the pitfalls of rejection that is associated with it.
Some people have been able to bounce back from rejection and carry on with their lives as if nothing has ever happened. Then there are some that have experienced a deep emotional, damaging, and life changing experience that has caused them to psychologically internalize the experience as a personal battle within. They have become emotionally scared and feel devastatingly degraded.
A pitfall is a cistern, a hole, a prison, and an abode for the dead, a chasm, or abyss. Sometimes when we experience rejection we find ourselves in a chasm of emotional anguish and feel as if our hearts have been taken out of our bodies, torn to pieces, and cast in an abyss of dead and callous way of thinking.
Since our way of thinking has been affected we begin to operate in the results of this rejection. We often build walls around us trying to protect ourselves from feeling such pain ever again; however, while building these walls we find ourselves in the pitfalls that are associated with rejection.
The first pitfall is 1.) We develop an incorrect concept of what is supposed to be. We believe that it is God’s desire for us to be happy, but our concept of what happiness is sometimes incorrect. We think that happiness is living in a fine home, driving an expensive car, having prestige and power, and never having the devil on our backs at all. We feel that happiness is a life of trouble free living and the Bible says in Psalm 34:19 “Many are the afflictions of the righteous” and in 1 Peter 3:14 “Happy is the man that suffer for righteousness”. Happiness is not based on good things only, but since our concept of what happiness is has been incorrect we feel as though if things aren’t going a certain way that God has rejected us, because he is not operating in our expectations.
When we begin to feel that God has rejected us because of our incorrect concept of him we fall into the 2nd pitfall of rejection and that is 2.) We get angry, and we even get angry with God. The reason we get angry with God is because we feel that he has rejected us when he does not operate within our expectations of him, which is an incorrect concept and because our perception of him is incorrect we get angry with him. This is what is known as a negative feedback loop. Our concept of God is incorrect and he doesn’t operate within our expectations so we get angry with him. It is a negative circle of emotions.
Once we are angry with God we come to the 3rd pitfall, which is 3.) We begin to rebel against God. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 20:26 “but you rebelled against the commandment of the Lord your God.” When we feel as if God has rejected us, due to our incorrect concept of him, and we get angry with him, we then begin to rebel against him. When God wants us to pray or read his word, because we now have this attitude of rejection upon us, we rebel against him and not follow his commandments he has given us to follow. We are caught in the pitfalls of rejection.
The 4th pitfall that rejection places us in is 4.) The pitfall of complaining. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 20:27 “And ye murmured in your tents”. We do not live in tents now days; however, we still complain and murmur within ourselves. We begin to find fault with everything and everyone, the preacher preaches to long, the music is to loud, the choir sings to many songs, the praise team sings to many fast songs. We are in a downward spiral of negativity and have not even realized what is really going on. We have fallen (like the commercial said and we can’t get up) into the pitfalls of rejection.