Summary: First in a series on family. The foundation for building a secure home starts at the bond between husband and wife.
The Secrets Of Spiritual Bonding
This is the first of a new series on family. The springboard for this series is from something I read in an article by John Maxwell. MAxwell cited a study done that put this ad in a paper: "If you live in a strong family, please contact us. We know a lot about what makes families fail. We need to know more about what makes them succeed." From that little survey, they received over 3,000 responses from strong families. And, interestingly, as they compiled the responses, they discovered that everyone was saying basically the same thing. They compiled six key ingredients for a strong family and the following acrostic was made:
Six Charicteristics of Successful Families:
S = _Spiritual_ Bonding
E= _Express_ Positive Thoughts
C= _Consistently_ Discipline
U= _Unity_ During A Crisis
R= _Recognize_ Each Member’s Value
E= _Encourage_ Each Member Daily
For the next six Sundays, we’ll take each one of these items with the goal of helping your family become more secure. Today we begin by starting at the top--mom & dad set the stage for the bonding that occurs.
Three Secrets of Spiritual Bonding:
#1 Build Your Family Upon The Same Foundation
A.One man + One woman = One flesh
The word translated "Helper/Helpmeet" in Gen. 2:18 & 20 is used elsewhere primarily of divine help. See Exo. 18:4, Deut. 33:29, Psa. 121:1. Divine help is never subservient, nor should you consider your wife to be that.
B. Our Relationship reflects the Divine Plan
1)Husbands to wives= “Love like Christ”
How does Christ love us? unconditionally, uncritically, without abusiveness.
2)Wives to husbands= “Submit as the _Church_”
How does our church submit to Christ? we submit in all things, when we don’t understand or agree with what He wants, we know that our submission won’t lead to exploitation or abuse.
Children learn unconditional love and respectful submission through watching how mom & dad relate to each other. That’s how God intended it to be.
#2 Solidify Your Family Around The Same Priorities
Definition of the modern home: A freeway interchange on which we pass each other on the way to another meeting. Is that your home? Let’s get our family on the same page. It starts with who you’re married to.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers”
A. Spiritual bonding will not happen in relationships that encourage a partner to...
* violate God’s Word
* withdraw from ministry opportunities
B. Spiritual bonding will not take place by accident. You must intentionally provide opportunities.
*Quantity time – regularly scheduled moments of teaching, worship, and fun
*_Quality_ time –irregularly scheduled to make memories, fill with wonder, spiritual discovery. Vacations, camping, spontaneous moments--point out the hand of God when He miraculously helps the bills get paid, etc.
#3 Pass On To Your Family The Same Values
Why does the Lord forbid marriage to a non-Christian?
"For they will turn your sons away from following Me”
*Because the God/god you serve is passed on--whoever that God/god may be.
*Because the way you relate to God is passed on
*Because the way you relate to loved ones is passed on--girls expect to be treated as they see mom treated by dad. This is why kids from abusive/addicted homes grow up and marry the same.
*Because the values you live by are passed on.