Summary: This is a rewrite of the classic sermon of the same title by John Hamby, on 10 rules for making your marriage a better marriage. An excellent and applicable message.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE
1. Adam & Eve had the ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about how good his mother could cook!
2. Son: “Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.” The Dad replied: “Son, that’s true everywhere” (and vice-versa).
B. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE
1. One of the greatest moments in history, especially religious history, happened on Mt. Sinai 3,500 years ago. On that mountain a man named Moses met with God and God wrote for Moses a summarized statement of right and wrong, which is the basis of the moral code for most of the civilized world.
2. We know of this writing as the Ten Commandments. Movies have been made about it, plays and dramas written about it, and pilgrimages made to its supposed site.
3. I heard a funny story about how one time when Moses came down the mountain, the people asked him how his meeting with God was going. Moses responded, “Pretty good, I’ve got Him down to Ten!” That is pretty amazing.
4. But this morning, I want to give you a different list of Ten Commandments; the Ten Commandments of Marriage. These rules, if followed, will go a long way toward helping any couple “live happily ever after”.
C. IMPORTANCE OF THIS SUBJECT
1. Americans have one of the highest marriage rates in the world; we believe in marriage. Even 80% of those who divorce marry again. This indicates that they still believe in marriage.
2. Though marriages are meant to last a lifetime, they can deteriorate rather quickly. Every marriage has problems. Every marriage is a journey of hills and valleys, highs and lows. Although all marriages have troubles, not all marriages are in trouble….. There are times when we argue over trivial issues or when we think our partner acts dumb, or when we can’t agree about something that’s important to each of us. Maybe yours is a good marriage but you know its not as good as it could be, this message is for you.
3. When the Christian comes to marriage, we shouldn’t allow the culture to shape our thinking, our attitudes or our actions. A Christian marriage should be guided by a different set of expectations and principles; those laid down by God. Christian marriage is supposed to reflect the relationship which exists between Christ and his bride, the church.
4. At least part of the problem in our society has a false definition of love. Love is not just a sentimental feeling, nor simply affection. It is also an act of the will - a determination to give love in a form that others can accept.
5. So this morning we’re looking at The 10 Commandments of Marriage, five for the ladies and five for the men. We will begin with the ladies of course.
I. THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS FOR WIVES
A. GIVE UP ON YOUR QUEST FOR A PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Marriage is the most difficult and complex of all human relationships and it requires patience, skill, tact, emotional and spiritual growth. You can “grow a good marriage” if you are willing to work at it.
2. I know sometimes, ladies, you get tired of wrestling with your husband’s will. You think things would be better if you sent your husband packing. You dream of a husband who is obedient, submissive, and cooperative. If that’s what you want, then don’t get a man, get a dog!
3. But God has other plans. The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Prov. 27:17 God puts us together for our perfecting. We refine each other. God puts us together, not primarily for physical reasons, but for spiritual reasons. We will never be the people He intends us to be without developing the humility, patience, and sacrificial love that marriage calls for.
B. GIVE UP ALL HOPE OF CHANGING YOUR HUSBAND THROUGH CRITICISM
1. The simple truth is “you can’t make your husband
more thoughtful by complaining!” Such tactics usually have one of two results with men, they will either retreat or they will become hostile.
2. We can only change ourselves and when we change, others tend to change in reaction to us. Give up making demands. Abandon the martyr stance. Be what you want him to be.
C. GIVE PRAISE AND ACCEPTANCE
1. Eph. 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)
2. Be your husband’s biggest fan. Your husband has a deep need to be admired. He wants to know if you value him, if you respect what he does, if you are proud of him.