Summary: If Christ is preeminent in our lives, the proof is in the way we treat our family

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• Chapter 2 reminds Christians of an enemy seeking their destruction. But we have an Ally who is more powerful than the

enemy. Christ is worth standing and fighting for.

• Chapter three we can call “the chapter where the rubber meets the road”. It is one thing to preach, sing, and testify that

Christ is number 1 in our lives, but the proof will be seen in how we live our everyday lives. Ill: “I will swim the deep oceans,

cross the driest deserts…

• In Colossians 3:18-4:1, Paul will be addressing three key relationships found in the homes of the members of the church of

Colosse. (Husband & Wife); (Parent & Child); Slave & Master). Today, many of these relationships are the same, with some

becoming a little more complex; but the application of Scripture is just as true and applicable today, no matter the family


• Note: Paul is not prescribing a “secret formula” for how can have a successful relationship, or is he giving a list of obligations

and rules; but rather he is showing how the previous 2 ½ chapters (Christ’s example) connects perfectly in a believer’s

relationship at home. Paul knows if he has strong families he will have a strong church.

Proposition: If Christ is preeminent in our lives, the proof is in the way we treat our family.

III. Christ is All You Need to Live For.

D. The Value of Loving Relationships. (3:18-4:1)

1. The Marriage Relationship. (3:18-19)

a. To the wife:

• “submit to your husband” - submit is another military term that means arrange under rank. Says nothing

about worth or value or even equality, but rather of order. The Trinity is equal in value, but there is a order/rank.

• “as is fitting to the Lord.” - This verse could be applied in two ways; First meaning that fitting speaks of how

God designed the marriage relationship to work. Second, a wife is to submit as long as what her husband is

wanting falls under the category of “fitting unto the Lord.” Forced submission to a dominating/abusive husband is

not fitting to the Lord.

b. To the husband:

• “Love your wife” As we know this love is not the word for sexual love, but for God’s self-sacrificing love

(agape). Eph. 5:25

i. Love for wife is seen clearly in 1 Peter 3:7: Spend time; Study her, Appreciate her, protect her, partner

with her, prayer with her

• “Do not be bitter toward them” - I believe this statement is connected with 3:8 &13. Man, if you keep

resenting and holding in that anger, you will just poison your marriage. Forgive her, no matter what.

c. Application: Ill: Personal example of something my wife did and I started to dwell on it and became more upset. I

did not show it to her, but inside I was boiling. And this verse showed me I better quench that fire, or it will only

poison me and my relationship with wife. I can only fix me!

• Christ is our true example of submission & love!

2. The Parental Relationship. (3:20-21)

a. To the children:

• “obey your parents in all things” – means listen, take to heart, and act! A sign of a degrading society is when

children refuse to listen to parents. (Proverbs 30: 11-14) Ill: Parent saying to child, “What did you learn in SS

today? His reply, “Obedience….again.”

• “for this pleases the Lord” – God is pleased when children honor their parents. Many children/young people

struggle with knowing God’s will for their lives. Obeying parents is the right place to start.

b. To the parents: (Parent is a better word than fathers; Heb. 11:23, same word)

• “do not provoke your children” Do not stir up, do not discourage, no not pick a fight, or push to the edge. Ill:

This is heard in the voice of adults when they say “I could never live up to my parents standards/goals” It was

John Newton who said, “I know that my father loved me, but he did not seem to wish me to see it.” 1 Thess.

2:11 “encourage your children”

• Ways parents provoke their children: Over protection (no liberty); showing favoritism; unreachable goals;

holding back affection; lack of discipline; constant criticism; neglect; excessive discipline. (John MacArthur)

i. Discouraged children are fair prey for Satan & the world.

c. Application: Christ is our example of obedience & encouragement.

3. The Working Relationship. (3:22-4:1)

a. To the slaves: (60 + million slaves at this time; Paul knew that the Gospel of Jesus Christ could do more to

transform culture than political activism.)

• As Christians slaves, don’t work just when the boss is watching; exceed master’s expectations.

• As Christian slaves, work with all your heart, as to the Lord.

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