Summary: A look at three areas we must understand in order to have happy marriages.

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Open with “Aisle, Altar, Hymn” Joke.

Tonight we are going to talk a little bit about marriage. Marriage can be a fun topic to preach on, but is almost always a tough topic to preach on. Tonight I am keeping it simple. As a matter of fact, you will probably hear nothing new. My hope is that you will be put in remembrance of a few things that will help you make your marriages better.


In 2000 – 21% of atheists and agnostics will or have experienced divorce.

29% of Baptists

34% of Non-Denominational

All of us who are married desire to have a great marriage. We want to find happiness and fulfillment in the marriage bond. None of us married to divorce.

Marriage like flies buzzing around a screen door in the summer. All those on the outside want to get in and all those on the inside want to get out.

1. The ideal 2. An ordeal 3. Looking for a New Deal!?

So, as you can see, we definitely need to return to the basic principles for marriage. Three design of this sermon is basic and fundamental. In school we have a phrase that describes the three basic areas of learning. Does anyone remember what we call them? THE THREE R’s (reading, writing, and arithmetic (not spelling since only one starts with an R))– well tonight I present to you the three R’s of a good marriage.

Before I begin let me offer up this disclaimer:

1. This list is basic and not comprehensive. There are many things we should do and can do to help our marriages. These are basics!

2. My preaching this message does not mean that I practice these points perfectly.

3. My preaching this message does not mean I am a great or even descent husband.

4. These principles are true regardless of your situation.


Ephesians 5: 22 – 33

It’s God’s Plan and It Works!!


A. Respect is what your husband needs and desires most.

B. We must respect each other.

C. The Husband must honor his wife and the wife her husband.

1. Never put him / her down

2. Refuse to join in at work with the guys / girls

D. For husbands:

1. Never belittle 2. Never be bitter

E. For wives:

1. This means Reverence

2. This means Responsiveness (no silent treatment / cold shoulders)

3. This means Respect

One woman said, “I will willingly submit to my husband as long as he doesn’t cross me”. But that is not submission. There is no “As long as” in submission. There is instead an “AS UNTO THE LORD”.

Illustr: A couple on their 50th wedding anniversary, summed up their long and happy marriage. The husband said, “I have tried never to be selfish. After all there is no I in marriage.” The wife responded, “ For my part, I have never corrected my husbands spelling.” – HEY IT WORKED!!!


A. It is amazing how differently men and women define Romance.

B. Honestly – We guys don’t have a clue!!!

C. Guys think sensually when they thin of Romance.

D. Wives think about tenderness and shared time and dreams.

E. I’m just a guy and I’m terribly unromantic, but here are a few tips:

1. Do little things

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Margaret Lee

commented on Sep 21, 2008

I am a Christian, married 21 years to a Christian and I can tell you that all the marriage sermons, books, movies, the many years of praying don''t always save a marriage. Not when love dies. It''s easy to write a sermon and tell a woman to respect her husband and do nice little things for him and the feelings will return. It''s another when you live with a man who has been emotionally abusive, one who has had affairs, one who has called you names, told you he married too young, didn''t love you, and belittled your family, one who has made fun of your looks, your weight. One who cries at sappy movies but is stone cold over his wife''s broken heart. I do those things you talked about. I clean, cook favorite meals, bake, write notes, gifts, I run the household, including the finances because he won''t. I''m not angry or bitter. Life is too short to waste it on being bitter. I''m just finished.

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