Summary: How to fan the smoldering embers into passionate flames in any relationship.

13, January 2002

Dakota Community Church

Turning Up The Heat


This week I want to talk about how to go from smoldering embers to roaring flames of passion.

These will work in any relationship, with God or with your spouse.

Five ways to turn up the fire of passion:

Mark 1:35

35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.


Psalm 5:2-3

2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. 3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

John Maxwell said, “The number one characteristic of unsuccessful people is that they waste time.”

How often are you busy:

- Watching TV

- Playing computer games

- Window shopping

- Doing crosswords, reading daily news junk, staring out the window?

Do you want your relationship to cool off? – Don’t spend any time on it.

What matters in life and for eternity if not your wife and kids?

What have you always wanted to be?

- A great husband?

- An awesome father?

- A couch potato?

- A game boy champ?

Spend your time accordingly!


Bridle your tongue. – The power of life and death is in the tongue.

Psalm 19:14

14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

To God: words of worship

To your wife: love letters

To your children: words of encouragement

Want things to heat up? – Sweeten your words about and to Him

Want things to cool off? – Speak every nasty one liner that pops into your head.

Hey why not make it your job to change your man/woman into who you think they should be? That always works!


Taken from the tomb of a Bishop in Westminster Abbey 1100 A.D.:

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits I dreamed of changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser and realized the world would not change I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country: but it too seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years I settled on changing only my family and those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it.

Now as I lay on my deathbed I suddenly realize that if I had only changed myself first, then by example I could perhaps have changed my family, and from their inspiration and encouragement to me I would have been better able to help my country and from there I may even have been able to change the world.


1Chronicles 16:29

29 ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name. Bring an offering and come before him; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

Our passion and giving are connected.

The tithe is like a birthday or Christmas gift – expected.

(Things could get really cold if you don’t bother.)

Remember how things were in the early days of your relationship.

- Flowers, teddy bears, chocolates

- Tithes, offerings, missions, etc.

Want to turn up the heat of passion?

Show up with a surprise gift!

- Not – Surprise, new dishtowels!

- Not - Surprise – some of the tithe is left after our vacation.


Go above and beyond the call of duty.

1Peter 5: 2-4

2Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers--not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Colossians 3:23-24

23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Don’t be a scorekeeper in the relationship.

I did the dishes and laundry so you have to make dinner and clean the toilets.

Remember that although you may not do windows – Jesus did feet!


How do you touch God?

We sing; “I wanna touch you.”

Maybe a better question would be:

How do I avoid touching God?

- Refusing intimacy.

Have you noticed how with young lovers you can tell there is something going on even when they are trying to keep it secret?

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