Summary: What's the biggest problem in your marriage? It's probably not what you think it is! If we desire God's best for our marriages, and indeed for any relationship, we need to understand what the root cause of the problems we experience really turns out to
When Two Sinners Say, “I Do” - Luke 11:17 - May, 6, 2012
Series: After The Honeymoon - #4
[Ideas for this message came in part from Dave Harvey's book entitled "When Sinners Say I Do" - I highly reccomend it for any couple!]
You have probably heard the story of the hillbilly who took his family to the big city for the first time. Walking the streets they were overwhelmed by the towering skyscrapers, the crowds of people, and the noise of the passing traffic. Caught up in the excitement of the moment they found themselves swept along with the crowd that surrounded them.
Soon, along with many others, they enter into one of the larger buildings. Stepping inside they were momentarily taken aback to find themselves in a great open area surrounded by dozens of shops. The mother and daughter stop and stare open-mouthed at what appears to be a moving staircase that takes people from one floor of the building to the next. Never have they seen such a thing. Father and son travel further into the building over-awed at all that they are seeing as well. Eventually they can go no further. Before them stands a row of shiny metal doors, two by two, with buttons beside each one of them.
Numbers above the doors are constantly changing, some are increasing one by one, while some are decreasing. They are perplexed as to what it’s all about when along comes an old woman, wrinkled, by the passing of the years, back stooped, hair well grayed. One set of doors that they’ve been staring at suddenly slide open to reveal a small room into which the elderly woman enters. And then just as suddenly as they opened, the doors close. Father and son are uncertain as to what it all means. Why would this little old lady enter into this tiny room and allow herself to be shut away behind these metal doors?
It’s all made clear a few moments later when the doors open again and out walks a beautiful young woman where an old woman had once entered in. Not daring to blink, or even to take his eyes off of this miracle machine, the father shouts for his son to hurry and to go and get his mother and bring her back real quick like so that she might try out this thing called an “elevator.”
Well we’ll get back to that in just a moment but for now let me just say that this morning we are continuing with our series on marriage, entitled, “After The Honeymoon.” Our desire is that good marriages become great, that hurting marriages find healing, that struggling marriages find hope, that those not yet married but who one day would desire to be, would discover a firm foundation on to which they will one day build, and that all our marriages would glorify God.
But marriage isn’t easy. It’s hard work. Along with the joy and the excitement and the enthusiasm there is also pain and hurt and frustration. These come into every relationship. Leading up to the wedding day we have stars in our eyes. We have great expectations. It’s when the honeymoon is over, and we settle down to doing life together day by day, that some of the glamour begins to wear off and we began to see a different side of our spouse than we ever saw before.
Husbands, you might discover after you’ve been married for a bit that this woman that has agreed to share life with you, this woman who radiates beauty and joy and love and makes your heart burst with excitement, well she wakes up each day with morning breath that curls your toes, she makes unseemly noises while she sleeps, and sometimes while she’s awake, and there are some areas of your life together that she sees completely differently than you do.
And wives, this prince charming, that you’ve taken into your heart and whom you’re now building a life together with, who seems incapable of doing any wrong in your eyes, is the same guy who will scratch himself in unseemly places, who leaves the toilet seat up, the cap off the toothpaste and puts the toilet paper on the wrong way even after you’ve told him for the hundredth time the “proper way of doing it.”
As the weeks turn to months, and the months to years, little things can become big things, and big things can become huge, and the two who were once joined as one before God, began to become two again. Different ways of understanding the world around us, different desires, passions and expectations, unresolved differences, harsh words, criticism, and so much more can begin to take their toll on any relationship and that divide widens.