Summary: Contentions are like bars and can become a prison. Do you find faults incessantly? Are you quarrelsome, mean-spirited, cranky, nagging, and habitually pushing those you love away?
YOU BUILT A PRISON AND YOU ARE THE PRISONER?
CONTENTIOUS: PUSHING AWAY! SHORT FUSE?
By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com
I do this lesson in two parts,
Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Matthew 7:26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
I. BRING US TOGETHER? OR PUSH US APART?
WHAT WILL YOU GET OUT OF THIS BEHAVIOR?
HAVE WE EVER MISSED THE REAL LESSON BECAUSE WE WERE THROWING MUD?
A. ARE YOU A NITPICKER? A FAULTFINDER? DO YOU DRIVE OTHERS UP THE WALL?
Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Proverbs 27:15 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;
Proverbs 27:15 A constant dripping on a rainy day and a cranky woman are much alike!
Proverbs 27:15 A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet;
Proverbs 27:15 A nagging wife is as annoying as the constant dripping on a rainy day.
B. HAVE WE EVER MISSED THE REAL LESSON BECAUSE WE WERE THROWING MUD?
If you are throwing mud, you are the one losing ground!
C. LET US SEE THE REAL PROBLEM?
To irritate with repeated SMALL ANNOYANCES...
One who nags HABITUALLY ...
One that is old and in poor condition.
D. TO FIND FAULT INCESSANTLY ...
To complain, badger, worry ...
TO PERSIST IN ANNOYANCE AND DISTRATION
To irritate by CONSTANT scolding or urging.
E. WE ALLOW THE GENDER ISSUES OF SEVERAL VERSES CAUSE US TO MISS THE REAL MEANING.
Men drive this verse toward women, when the verse probably should be non-gendered.
It is not just a CONTENTIOUS --- QUARRELSOME --- CRANKY --- NAGGING --- WOMAN!
THE REAL MEANING OF THIS VERSE IS A PERSON THAT IS:
CONTENTIOUS --- QUARRELSOME --- CRANKY --- NAGGING ---PERSON.
IS A PERSON THAT IS PUSHING AWAY THOSE THAT THEY LOVE BUILDING WISELY?
As Peterson in the Message words it: A NAGGING SPOUSE...
F. Let us catch what Solomon is trying to TEACH US.
G. Have we come to the point that we accept CONTENTIOUS SPIRITS AS A GIFT OF GOD? People are not ashamed of complaining, faultfinding, quarrelsome, cranky spirits.
THE CHURCH NEEDS TO CONFESS AND REPENT AS THIS IS NOT PLEASING TO GOD.
II. WE COME TO KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM BY TWO PATHS:
2. LEARNED BEHAVIOR.
The natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity.
A largely inheritable and unalterable tendency without a lot of work.
Behavior performed by reactions below the conscious level.
Non-taught behavioral patterns.
To gain knowledge and understanding by skill of study, instruction, or experience.
C. WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT NAGGING, NITPICKING, FAULTFINDING, ARGUMENTS BUILD GOOD RELATIONSHIPS?
D. WE ARE HABITUAL BEINGS:
A behavioral pattern acquired by frequent REPETITION.
A choice with regularity.
A manner of conducting self.
THE PREVAILING DISPOSITION OF THOUGHTS AND MAKEUP.
Manner of behavior.
A point advanced or maintained in a debate or argument.
Rivalry or competition.
To sow discord.
Likely to cause contention.
Exhibiting an often perverse and wearisome tendency to quarrels and disputes.
Given to find fault, negative, objections.
To get ready to fight.
III. WE SELDOM RELEASE THE POWER OF WORDS. MANY OF US WILL SPEAK WORDS OF NEGATIVE FAULT-FINDING NATURES THAT WE WOULD NEVER WRITE DOWN ON PAPER?
A. AGAIN WE MUST RECEIVE THE REAL MESSAGE --- THIS IS NOT A GENDER PUT DOWN, THIS IS EXPRESSING AN HABITUAL ATTITUDE PROBLEM.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in the corner of an attic than with a crabby woman in a lovely home.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining woman.
Proverbs 21:9 Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a tent in the wild than with a cross and petulant spouse.