Summary: Overcoming misconceptions about Single Adults

Young and Restless or Home Alone?


Randy Croft

What is the fastest growing minority segment of the American population? (Minority not meaning quality, but percentage of population). Not Hispanics, not African-Americans, not Asians, nor Europeans. It’s Singles. *Almost 40% of American adults are single (widowed, divorced, never married)--entire populations of New York, California, Oregon Washington, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Arizona, and Maryland.

Wait a minute...Singles aren’t a minority population segment. They’re not an official race or culture. Yes they are. They often hear the comments, the feel the pressure, perceive the stigma, and experience the prejudice that our culture frequently attaches to those who aren’t married. It’s almost like the story in the bible about Noah and the ark (if you don’t know--we can talk about it). The animals went into the ark, two by two--male and female. And if you weren’t paired, you were impaired and weren’t welcome to get on board.

We’re going to find out tonight that being single is a choice many people make, not a problem that’s unavoidable. We’re going to dispel some myths and offer some practical steps tonight. Married listen both ears, things apply to your own marriage.

First hear from two people who will speak to us on the choice of being single.



You may be thinking, wait a minute--how do you know--you’re married. True. I lost my bachelors degree the day after college graduation. I’m thankful for my wife, kids, and years together... But there are experiences in my life with the issue of being single... There were 2 years in college didn’t even date.

And my parents...I remember being huddled in my bedroom with two brothers. Listening in on our parents who were arguing in the living room. Dad takes off. He left home to become a truck driver. It was also a divorce for my parents. I remember the nights where mom would be crying in her bedroom. She’d be working her heart and soul trying to pay the bills and keep her three sons encouraged at school...but who could she empty her cup one. I remember how uncomfortable she felt going to church--people expected her to get involved in the singles group. Nothing wrong with it--pressure to go to the singles group to find purely to find a husband so she could be complete again. If a single adult was not actively looking for a husband or wife every week, every day--they’re not normal--something’s wrong. Didn’t give her the right message.

So many single people, widowed, divorced, or never-married often aren’t sure if they’re supposed to be Young and restless, Sleepless in Seattle, or just Home Alone.

Cartoon Cathy about a Americas favorite single career woman. Produced for 20 years, now in 1400 newspapers daily. Cathy struggles with diets and dating, work and weekends. Some of the cartoons take jabs at the feeling that many single people have that they’re not quite whole and complete if they’re not married. We’re going to look at some misconceptions about being single and see how one is a whole number. Also going to see that marriage doesn’t guarantee completeness.

3 Misconceptions about Being Home Alone

(1). Married people don’t know what it’s like to be alone. Single people do.

The current trend in America today is that single people are developing stronger and deeper friendships than married people.

ILLUS: Spouses spend 7 minutes a week talking. Quote "Almost never..."

Marriages today do not guarantee happiness and bliss. 30% of all American couples experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime...20% of all police officers killed in the line of duty are killed while answering calls involving family conflicts. A study done at U of Rhode Island described the American home as the most dangerous place to be outside of riots and war.

At the same time, singles are spending more time with good friends. Last 10 years, Hobby organizations have shot up 70%, sports associations up 50%. Some people choose to be single because don’t want to rush into a bad marriage. Others want to be single, because they just don’t want to be married, period.

ILLUS: "I have a dog that growls, a parrot that swears, a fireplace that smokes, a cat that stays out all night. Why should I want a husband."

At a party: "I like being single. I’m always there when I need me."

ILLUS: Close relative talked to for hours last week. He dating girl 3 years. Friends pressuring him--when you going to ask her. It’s time you got married. What are you waiting for. But he saw lot of problems in the relationship that he wanted fixed first. Got to get married. Not about to...totally dysfunctional marriage. Finally broke up. 3 years wasted. Not wasted. Great times together. Just didn’t work. He said he knows more know what he wants in a relationship. It taught him more about himself, too. It just didn’t work out. That’s it. Nobody’s fault. Nobody is incomplete or lacks anything.

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