10. The church bus has gun racks.
9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
7. There’s an ATM in the lobby.
6. The choir wears leather robes.
5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S.: "Bring Your Own Snake."
4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
3. Karaoke Worship Time.
2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?"
1. The only song the organist knows is "I Wonder If God Likes Country Music."
Related Text Illustrations
Contributed by Bill Prater on Jan 5, 2001
The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between rails) is four feet, eight-and-one-half inches. Why such an odd number? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and American railroads were built by British expatriates. Why did the English adopt that particular gauge? ...read more
Contributed by James Wilson on Nov 23, 2000
A good friend of mine recently told me about an incident that happened to him that explains why a person can worship, and yet still not know God. It all began before the plane took off. Roger Williams III was sitting in the window seat and was looking forward to thumbing through a magazine on a ...read more
Contributed by Richard Jones on Nov 1, 2000
It’s like the Lutheran pastor who always started each service with "The Lord be with you." The people would respond, "and also with you.” But, one Sunday the PA system wasn’t working so the first thing he said was "There’s ...read more
Contributed by Richard Jones on Nov 2, 2000
Two men are standing on the front lawn of a church. One man is leaning on the church’s sign and the other is looking at it from the front. The sign reads: Oak Road Bible Believing, Hand Clapping, Foot Stomping, Hemlines Below The Knee, Tie Wearing, Blood Washed, ...read more