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In an effort to attract the unchurched, some churches have considered translating their unfamiliar terminology into familiar football phrases:

*Blocking: Talking endlessly to the preacher at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting.

*Extra Point: What you receive when you tell the preacher his sermon was too short.

*Illegal Motion: Leaving before the closing prayer.

*Two-minute Warning: The preacher's wife looking at her watch in full view of the pastor.

*Quarterback Sneak: Sunday School teachers entering the building five minutes after classes began.

*Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

*Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

*Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

*Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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