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So I’m going to share with you a list I came up with of Seven steps guaranteed to embitter your Children:


1. Discipline your child only when you lose your temper. Let him get away with everything, then without warning, let ‘em have it! Blow your top! Scream and Yell! Let ‘er Rip! Go Crazy! That’s the way to let your child know “who’s REALLY in control around here.”


2. Give your child everything she wants right away. Don’t make her earn it! Gadgets and Toys and Video Games and Designer Clothes and Cars and good old Cash --- all of these make a GREAT substitute for your love and attention. And don’t worry; it won’t take long for your child to prefer the STUFF you provide over spending time with you.


3. As often as possible, compare your child to someone else --- a brother or sister is usually the best choice. Statements like, “Why can’t you be like Johnny” are sure to spur your child on to success!


4. Don’t let your child suffer the natural consequences of his actions. If your child gets in ANY sort of trouble, jump right in and make lots of excuses for him. Argue with his teachers; blame his friends; leave the church; sue the school --- but don’t let anyone hold your child accountable. … If you don’t come to the rescue every time, your child might develop respect for authority … and where will THAT get him in life?


5. Don’t waste time LISTENING to your child. Jump down her throat as soon as she opens her mouth. After all, you already know everything she’s going to say, right? Besides that, if you’re understanding and reasonable, she might start wanting to talk things over with you … and that would NEVER do!


6. Treat your child with constant suspicion. Expect the worst. Classic comments like “Can’t you do ANYTHING right?” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” can save your child from aiming too high in life.


7. If your child does anything wrong, NEVER let them forget it! Keep rubbing it in. Keep it on file to pull out at opportune moments. If you’re good at this, you can develop a long list and have it ready to pull out every chance you get.


I remember an occasion way back when I was a Youth Minister. I met the dad of one of the boys, and right away the dad started complaining about the boy right there in front of him. Dad got going on a LONG story about some trouble the boy had gotten into five years earlier. When dad left the room to answer the phone, his boy muttered under his breath, “He makes me sick!” I didn’t say anything, but I remember thinking, “He makes me sick, too!”

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