When the sign out front says – For members only
When the parking lot has a sign that says – unauthorized vehicles will be towed at owners expense.
When the church lobby has a sign that says – no loitering
When you say “Praise the Lord” and the guy behind you says – we don’t do that here.
When the pastors message is entitled “The Theological Significance of the eschatological dimensions of the sanctified life in the pre-millennial view of predestination.”
When they pass the plate – twice
When, at fellowship, coffee is $1.50 and donuts are $1.00 – limit one.
When the church’s motto is – We’re getting smaller but purer.
Related Text Illustrations
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Contributed by Sermoncentral on Apr 20, 2001
One fine Spring Sunday morning, a Priest was gazing out of a rectory window at a nearby Trout Stream. "Today would be a good day to sneak off and go fishing", he thought. The weather was perfect, his fly rod had new string, he had very recently heard reports of a good Trout run, and the Associate ...read more
Contributed by Sermoncentral on May 16, 2001
THEY DIED IN THE SERVICE One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at the ...read more
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jun 19, 2001
A high school girl wrote the following letter to a friend: I attended your church yesterday. Although you had invited me, you were not there. I looked for you, hoping to sit with you. I sat alone. A stranger, I wanted to sit near the back of the church but those rows were all packed with ...read more