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Every Grandparent can testify that if someone would have just told them that grandchildren were so much fun, the choice would have been made to have them first!


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She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"


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My young grandson called the other day to wish me a happy

birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


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Grandparents have one thing God doesn't have: GRANDCHILDREN!!


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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room,

she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"


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"A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes other people's little girls and boys. A grandfather is a man-grandmother. He goes for walks with the boys and they talk about fishing and stuff like that. Grandmother's don't have to do anything but...be there. They're old, so they shouldn't play too hard or run. It's enough if they drive us to the market where the pretend-horse is and have plenty of quarters ready. Or if they take us for walks they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars. Usually, grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear, and they can take their teeth and gums off! When they read to us they don't skip or mind it if it is the same story again. Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have cable- because they're the only grown-ups who have time."


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Grandparents are the only ones who have time to play.


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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"


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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.


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In the car my four-year-old granddaughter asked me why I was wearing the brightly colored scarf I had on. "I thought it would make my blue suit look much prettier," I said. After a moment's consideration, she replied sympathetically, "It didn't work, did it?"


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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather' s computer keyboard. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself."


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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."


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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."


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A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


(Source: from a sermon by Johnny Creasong, "The Gift of Grandparents" 7/16/08.)

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