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With the dust settling from our recent elections, I had an opportunity to review some sound bites that were overlooked by mainstream media. One reporter asked the presidential and vice-presidential candidates a very simple question. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” After some thoughtful consideration, this is what they had to say.


VICE PRESIDENT GORE

I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.


GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH

I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.


SENATOR LIEBERMAN

I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.


SECRETARY CHENEY

Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don’t want to cross the road. They don’t need help crossing the road. In fact, I’m not interested in crossing the road myself.


RALPH NADER

Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren’t ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.


PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

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