Sermon Illustrations

Ways to know your church is unfriendly.

When the sign out front says – For members only

When the parking lot has a sign that says – unauthorized vehicles will be towed at owners expense.

When the church lobby has a sign that says – no loitering

When you say “Praise the Lord” and the guy behind you says – we don’t do that here.

When the pastors message is entitled “The Theological Significance of the eschatological dimensions of the sanctified life in the pre-millennial view of predestination.”

When they pass the plate – twice

When, at fellowship, coffee is $1.50 and donuts are $1.00 – limit one.

When the church’s motto is – We’re getting smaller but purer.

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