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Attention Everyone: The Bathroom Door is Closed!

Please do not stand there and talk, whine or ask questions.

Wait until I get out.

Yes, it is locked. I want it that way.

No, it is not broken; I am not trapped.

I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born,because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there.

But it’s been ten years, and I want some privacy.

Do not ask me how long I will be.

I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling, “She’s in the bathroom!”

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them.

This was funny only when you were two.

Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door,

Even when you were two, this got a little tiresome.

If you...

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