But first a chance for you to laugh a little once again with my top twelve common words as redefined by parents with children.
12. DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
11. DEFENSE: what you’d better have around the yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
10. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
9. THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.
8. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
7. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots, green beans, or spinach.
6. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
5. VERBAL: able to whine in words.
4. WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".
3. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
2. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything just the way we told them to.
1. OWWAH: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
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