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A parishioner called his vicar up, very angry on a Monday morning. "Rector," He said "I tried to get you on Friday, but you weren't in."

"It was my day off," the vicar replied.

"Day off?" the parishioner stormed. "The Devil never has a day off."

"Well, if I didn't have a day off," the vicar rejoined, "I'd be just like...

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