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Charles Stanley, in his book The Gift of Forgiveness, states, "A person who has an unforgiving spirit is always the real loser, much more so than the one against whom the grudge is held." He adds, "Un-forgiveness, by its very nature, prevents individuals from following through on many specifics of the Christian life and practically necessitates that they walk by the flesh rather than by the spirit"(17, 18).

He also expounds in his book on how un-forgiveness devastates the one who refuses to forgive. When we choose to not forgive in one relationship we discover that it spills into other relationships and it destroys them. When the unforgiving person stands around and waits for the other to make restitution he loses out on life because they never make any progress in their game. That sad fact is as they are standing around waiting they form fleshly patterns of behavior and incorrect thought processes. Stanley states, "Regardless of how wrong the other person may have been, refusing to forgive means reaping the corruption in life. And that corruption begins in one relationship including the relationship with God, and works its way into all the rest" (25,26).

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