3-Week Series: Double Blessing

Sermon Illustrations

The Gentlemen’s Guide on What Not to Get Your Wife for Christmas

#10: A Vacuum Cleaner

The only possible way to make this a cool gift would be to give the hands-down coolest vacuum cleaner of all time... which I’m afraid hasn’t been invented yet and probably never will be, considering that there is pretty much only one thing to do with a vacuum... which is vacuuming.

#9: Socks

Nothings says you didn’t try as much as socks.

#8: Sweatpants

Even if she likes them you run the risk of coming across as "Merry Christmas, Fatso!"

#7: Gag Gifts

Gag gifts aren’t funny. To anyone. Especially your wife.

#6: A Magazine subscription to Field and stream, Sports Illustrated or Shooting Today.

Even if she likes sports, you’re like in trouble for this one.

#5: Pets, But Especially a "Grow A Frog" Kit

The only way this makes sense is a white elephant gift for a neighbor you don’t mind losing.

#4: Donations to Charity

Noting like making your sacrificial gift that costs somebody else.

#3: A cleaning kit....

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