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"Having children is the most beautifully irrational act that two people can commit.

"A father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. Whether the father is trying to shave or nap or work, small children come to him like moths to a flame.

"Just what is a father’s role today? As a taskmaster, he’s inept. As a referee, he’s hopeless. And as a short-order cook, he may have the wrong menu.

"If the new American father...

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