Contributed by Dennis Fakes on Nov 10, 2003
based on 28 ratings
| 2,718 views
A man came to the Lutheran Church and asked to see the pastor. “Pastor,” he said, “My dog died and I would like a Christian burial for him.”
The Pastor said, “I’m sorry to hear about your dog, but we Lutherans don’t do funerals for dogs. You might try the Baptist church down the street.
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Denomination:
Lutheran
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 1, 2004
Corporations often ask their constituents to vote “by proxy.” The proxy is an authorized agent who votes on our behalf, your representative.
The human race has only two proxies: Adam and Jesus Christ. Adam is the default proxy, for we are all
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Apr 20, 2005
based on 5 ratings
| 4,744 views
A PARAMEDIC was asked on a local Dallas TV talk-show program: “What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?”
“Recently,” paramedic began, we got a call from that big white CHURCH on 11th and Walnut. A frantic usher was very concerned that during their WORSHIP service an elderly man
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by David Kirkner on Aug 22, 2005
based on 1 rating
| 11,799 views
Illustration: (Seinfeld re-run)Jerry was asking George if he told his female friend the truth when he (George) was describing himself (George) to the girl. George responded: "Yes, I did" and Jerry replied "As you see it" ... Later in the diner Jerry was leaving to tell his female friend some
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Aug 14, 2006
Weekly requests poured in by mail asking for legal permission to quote and use an author’s writing material. One day a request came, like many previously, asking for permission to use some published work. The sender, from Houston, Texas, was asking if she could use the author’s material as she
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 28, 2006
based on 5 ratings
| 1,283 views
Leonard Bernstein was once asked which instrument was the most difficult to play. He thought for a moment and then replied, "The second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find someone who can play the second fiddle with enthusiasm -
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Ray Searan on Feb 21, 2007
based on 2 ratings
| 1,412 views
Someone asked, “What in the world is happening with our kids today?” Let us see…I think it started when Madelyn Murray O’Hare complained that she did not want any prayer in our schools, and we said “Okay.” Then someone said, “You had better not read the Bible in school” – the Bible that says, “Thou
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Kenneth Trent on Mar 5, 2007
based on 6 ratings
| 1,325 views
When asked to explain the Scriptural teaching on election, often the response goes something like this: “God votes for you; Satan votes
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Denomination:
Baptist
An ethics professor at Princeton Seminary asked for volunteers for an extra assignment. Fifteen students showed up. He divided the group of fifteen into three groups of five each. He instructed the first group of five to proceed immediately across the campus to a certain spot; if they didn’t get
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Denomination:
Episcopal/Anglican
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,000 views
Someone once asked, “Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call of duty?” And it is when we think we are strong in our faith that we have a tendency to live life on the edge of our faith, right
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,332 views
A stock boy at a grocery store was asked by an elderly lady, “Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” He walked back to the manager’s office, not realizing that the lady followed him. He said to the manger, “You’re not going to believe this, but there’s an old bag out there who wants to buy half a head
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,332 views
Dietrich Bonheoffer once asked this question of us,
"Do we understand that instead we get a messiah who gives us power all right, but it’s a whole new kind of power, it’s THE POWER OF SUFFERING LOVE
It’s a power that looks me in the eye, forgives my sin, my fear, my anger, my resentment, my
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 1 rating
| 2,304 views
George Muller was asked, “What is the secret of your service to God?” Muller’s response was this: “There was a day when I died, utterly died, died to George Muller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will…died to the world, its approval and censure…died to the approval or blame
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Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jul 31, 2007
An alcoholic [who] became a believer, was asked how he could possibly believe all the nonsense in the Bible about miracles.
“You don’t believe that Jesus changed the water into wine do you?”
“I sure do, because in our house Jesus
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Denomination:
Baptist