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In Sermon Illustrations: "Not Funny" showing 61-80 of 335

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  • Tattling

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 4, 2019
     | 1,161 views

    Difference between tattling and communicating necessary information: 2. Difference between rightness [trite correctness] and being righteous. "Johnny is playing with matches" - OK "Johnny is playing with his iPod even though you said he had to brush his teeth first!" - ...read more

  • Lois A. Cheney: Feeling  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Rogers on Mar 12, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,112 views

    Lois A. Cheney writes, “Feeling blue? Buy some clothes. Feeling lonely? Turn on the radio. Feeling despondent? Read a funny book. Feeling bored? Watch TV. Feeling empty? Eat a sundae. Feeling worthless? Clean the house. Feeling sad? Tell a joke. Ain’t this modern age ...read more

  • Names

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Mar 9, 2022
     | 2,280 views

    Our country boasts 18 doctors named Dr. Doctor and another called Dr. Surgeon. Yes, we have a dermatologist titled Dr. Rash, a psychiatrist who goes by Dr. Couch, and an anesthesiologist named Dr. Gass. But when it came time to name Jesus, the Hebrew name, "Yeshua" has the same sound ...read more

  • A Few Years Ago, Time Magazine Featured A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 11, 2001
    based on 67 ratings
     | 1,421 views

    ILL. A few years ago, Time Magazine featured a story about Peter Sellers. It told about him appearing on the Muppet Show & being interviewed by Kermit The Frog. His interview began with Kermit telling Peter Sellers, "Now, just relax & be yourself." Peter Sellers responded, "I can’t be myself ...read more

  • In A Recent Ncaa Cross-Country Championship Held ...

    Contributed by Kent Lenard on May 30, 2004
     | 2,197 views

    In a recent NCAA cross-country championship held in Riverside, California, 123 of the 128 runners missed a turn. One competitor, Mike Delcavo, stayed on the 10,000 meter course and began waving for fellow runners to follow him. Delcavo was able to convince only four other runners to go with him. ...read more

  • What Price Popularity? Sesame Street Asked Its ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 10, 2006
     | 1,317 views

    What Price Popularity? Sesame Street asked its Contact Kids readers (ages 8-14) “What makes you popular at school? Here’s how they replied. Being good looking (64%) and having niece clothes (52%) ranked nearly as high as being friendly (61%). Other responses were being funny (49%), being good at ...read more

  • A Bad Business Meeting

    Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 28, 2014
    based on 1 rating
     | 5,406 views

    A church called a special business meeting of all of its members to vote on a very heated issue. Things got out of hand so badly that one elderly woman of the congregation stood up and said, "I am so ashamed of every one of you here tonight. This is a disgrace! If Jesus knew about this......He ...read more

  • Two Little Boys Got Into A Fight. But The Next ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mike Leiter on Jan 15, 2003
    based on 36 ratings
     | 2,336 views

    Two little boys got into a fight. But the next morning Johnny took his cap and headed for Bobby’s house again. Surprised, an older member of the family said teasingly, "What! Going to play with him again? I thought you had a fight last night and was never going to have anything more to do with ...read more

  • Listen To The Word Of God

    Contributed by Christian Cheong on Aug 21, 2005
     | 4,422 views

    LISTEN TO THE WORD OF GOD I witnessed something similar to this on an airplane once. I kept hearing outbursts of laughter. The flight was turbulent and bumpy, hardly a reason for humour. But some fellow behind me was cracking up. No one else, just him. Finally I turned to see what was so funny. ...read more

  • To Avoid Offending Anybody, The School Dropped ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 15, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,473 views

    To avoid offending anybody, the school dropped religion altogether and started singing about the weather. At my son’s school, they now hold the winter program in February and sing increasingly nonmemorable songs such as “Winter Wonderland,” “Frosty the Snowman” and—this is a real song—”Suzy ...read more

  • Stealing His Glory

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 28, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,502 views

    STEALING HIS GLORY Recently, we heard about what happened in the capital in Washington State. OLYMPIA, Wash. -- An atheist group unveiled an anti-religion placard/sign in the state Capitol, joining a Christian Nativity scene and "holiday tree" on display during December. The atheists' sign was ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Dec 8, 2003
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,328 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • Which Way?  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Sep 2, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,962 views

    WHICH WAY? In a recent NCAA cross-country championship held in Riverside, California, 123 of the 128 runners missed a turn. One competitor, Mike Delcavo, stayed on the 10,000 meter course and began waving for fellow runners to follow him. Delcavo was able to convince only four other runners to go ...read more

  • I Was In Wal Mart The Other Day And I Saw This ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,477 views

    I was in Wal Mart the other day and I saw this girl that had a shirt on that said, "Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful-- Okay, just hate me." I sorta chuckled and my little brother looked at me and said, "What’s so funny about that?" ANd I said, "Well, She sure does not need to be wearing that ...read more

  • We Live In A Strange Community, Where It Is Not ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 1, 2001
    based on 164 ratings
     | 4,617 views

    We live in a strange community, where it is not uncommon to see bumper stickers that say things like, I am Light, or Due to circumstances within our control Armageddon has been cancelled. But the one that really gets me is the one that reads simply, I AM. Thank God, the I AM doesn’t drive a VW ...read more

  • Christmas Signs  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 10, 2002
    based on 16 ratings
     | 10,013 views

    CHRISTMAS SIGNS - From a toy store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." - In a bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas." - Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." - From a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd." - In a Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras: $70,000. ...read more

  • Before Performing A Baptism, The Pastor ...

    Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,109 views

    Before performing a baptism, the pastor approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests." "I ...read more

  • How Many Of You Remember The Carole King Song, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Brian La Croix on May 15, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,894 views

    How many of you remember the Carole King song, You’ve Got a Friend? You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I’ll come runnin’, to see you again. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, all you got to do is call, and I’ll be there, yes I will. You’ve got a friend. The idea of the song is ...read more

  • A Missionary To Japan Told A Story Of When He Was ...

    Contributed by Jay Winters on Dec 27, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,021 views

    A missionary to Japan told a story of when he was riding a train one late night across town. Everyone was being fairly dignified, but then a drunk man came on board. His face was red and he was looking for a fight. He was catcalling women and trying to provoke men to fight him. Nobody responded ...read more

  • I'm Sort Of Surprised About The Timetable For ...

    Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 22, 2009
     | 1,923 views

    I’m sort of surprised about the timetable for Philip’s journey. God commands him to get up and depart about noon. It reminds me of Robbie O’ Connell, an Irish musician who lives in the U.S., when he went back to Ireland to chase down some authentic folk songs that hadn’t yet been recorded. Since ...read more