Summary: The majority of arguments between husbands and wives  Have to do with disagreements over who is in charge of what in the relationship.

A Fireproof way for marriages?

Pastor Allan Kircher

Shell Point Baptist church

Ephesians 5:21-5:33


In Successful Marriages, Spouses give up their rights for one another

 wives give respect to their husbands

 husbands give love their wives

 spouses give Christ their reverence

First of two sermons/what I call the M & M’s of stress/life today.

• Marriage and money.

• My plan for these messages is to focus on what the Bible says about these two top SOURCES of stress in life.

• Next week we will look at the frustration that comes with trying to manage our money.


Now some of you may wonder, "What does marriage have to do with stress?"

Well, if you are one of those "wonder-ers"-then you must be single because spouses who have been together any length of time will tell you that tension is part and parcel of being married.

Two living, breathing, sinful people are going to have some level of strain in their relationship.

o The problem these days is

o husbands and wives have forgotten how to deal with this inevitable conflict

o So more and more couples experience little if any joy in their marriage.

Now before we go any farther I want to point out that this particular text can be very difficult to understand.

In fact/verses/Ephesians 5 have caused so much disagreement that many people ignore them all together.

o Most pastors steer clear of this text, fearing the conflict it may cause in their churches.

o Probably because that six-letter word “Submit” is one of the most disliked, and divisive words in the Bible.

But I don't want us here at Shell Point to do that

 To steer clear of it

 We HAVE to come to a proper understanding of this troublesome word if our marriages are to bring us the joy God intends.

 We simply must understand this word if we are to understand His blueprint!

You see, I have found that most of the problems in marriage can be traced to one thing: POWER.

The majority of arguments between husbands and wives

 Have to do with disagreements over who is in charge of what in the relationship.

Part 2 of 12 Fireproof opening argument

And, more often than not husbands and wives don't resolve this issue properly

• This causes a power imbalance in their marriage.

• So what happens when power/authority are out of whack?

1. First we need/discuss/certainly/differences between men/women.

o I mean you have noticed that men and women are different?

These differences are intended by our Creator to be complimentary.

 They bring balance/depth/excitement to any marriage relationship.

 The fact is that when we truly UNDERSTAND each other—we are better TOGETHER than we are ALONE.

I am not talking about just physical differences

I am talking/how different men/women/relationally/emotionally

o We process things differently

o We think differently

o We can even experience the same situation and yet see it so totally different.

He said/she said clip

o Have you ever been there?

You ever felt that you/your spouse so different that there is no way things can work out?

o No way you could experience a successful marriage?

Well, I want to tell you that if you have been married for more than a couple years, this thought has probably crossed your mind at some point, even if you have resisted it by the power of Christ.

There are all kinds of differences between the genders.

■A woman marries a man expecting him to change.

■A man marries a woman hoping she won’t change.

 Women tend to be more VERBAL than men.

 In fact they learn to talk sooner than we guys do.

So, the truth is men start off behind women in talking and we never catch up.

o the average woman speaks over 25,000 words a day

o While the average man speaks only a little over 10,000.

This means/time/man gets home/work he’s used all his words but his wife is just warming up.

Anyone ever had a marital argument that stemmed from the wife’s desire to talk when the husband got home from work and the husband’s desire to just vegg out in front of the TV?

If men/women are so totally different, how is it that we can have a successful marriage?

Can we truly experience the joy that God desires for us?


2. What is a Successful Marriage

I think it is important to define a successful marriage.

It one both the husband/wife experiences the joy/unity, even amid struggles,

And this comes from being united physically, emotionally and spiritually.

• This goes back to how God created man and woman.

• He created us to be united.

• God has ordained that in marriage

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