Summary: You are not called to be hunkering down by things that haunt you.
I am not a believer in true ghosts as we think of them in human culture. They are not disembodied souls wandering about because they cannot cross over or are condemned to wander the earth for their sins like Jacob Marley. No loved one comes back from Heaven and no one can come back from Hell. Jesus spoke of this when He spoke of the rich man and Lazarus. Neither the rich man or Lazarus could come back.
If you are having visitations by any spirit whether they say they are a guide or a departed person, including your loved one, you are being deceived by a demon. I believe those who charge you to speak to your dead loved ones are working iniquity dealing with demons who can mimic a voice and know all about your loved one by networking with other demons who knew them. Their speed of networking makes anything we have in the digital world look like smoke signals and tin cans.
Indeed, the ghosts in our lives that torment us, be we believer or unbeliever are demonic harassers doing all they can to steal, kill and destroy our lives or at best our joy and potential You know what I mean. There is that relationship that went badly that you cannot forget or get past. That failure that seems to choke any hope of success in you. Those voices in your head repeating all the things you heard as a kid. “You're fat or a bean pole!” “Four eyes” You're ugly!” “You're stupid!” “You'll never be any good” “You're most likely to be in jail or the gutter”, etc.
Those situations haunt you every day of your life. Whenever you attempt a new relationship or career you hear, “You're a failure! Always have been and always will be! Don't even attempt it! You'll just screw up like always!” These are ghosts from the past and can be demonic attacks to rob you of the potential and destiny God has for you. We need to kill them or banish them from our lives.
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Paul knew we would never attain all our full potential until we get to Glory for that is the ultimate destiny of all the children of God. Then we shall be completely like Him in all things including the full walk in His resurrection power. It is our duty, calling and joy to reach forth and press toward the mark while we are here.
The past is dead and you cannot raise it to fix anything. Any continued regret for what you did or did not do or pain caused by others to you be it bulling in the physical, emotional, verbal or even in a spiritual form or pain you caused others are just ghosts haunting you. They cannot harm you unless you allow them.
Paul said he had to forget that which was behind if he was going to reach forth and press toward the mark! Even secular Country music understands this. Vince Gill sang “There's no future in the past. Randy Travis was “diggin' up bones exhuming things that's better left alone.” Garth Brooks sang about what hurts a relationship because “we bury the hatchet but leave the handle stickin' out” if three chords and the truth folks get it then we who are His need to use what He has given us to make the past vanish and banish the haunting ghosts.
Micah 7:19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.
When we are saved or repent of our backsliding and return back to Him Micah says that God casts all our sins int the depths of the sea. That means they are buried in the sea. They are dead and gone as far as He is concerned!
Maybe you should write everything down that the haunting thoughts are telling you and take them to the river. Ball it up and throw it in. That is where God has all that stuff. If you are a history buff like me make a little boat, douse it with lighter fluid, put it in the water and light it like the Vikings did and watch the ghosts burn and sink into the water. If you have a list like mine it might be more like an aircraft carrier than a Viking ship. No matter. Light that sucker up and say goodbye once and for all to them and hello to freedom in Christ's grace and love!!