Summary: How do we express love to God?

God’s Love Language February 1, 2009

Rules and Relationship

John 14:15-24


You are not “saved” by behaving, but by believing

You are not given the Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit because you behave well, but because you Believer in Jesus.

You are Free from the Law!

Don’t use your freedom to sin

What Paul does is take a relationship that is bound by rules, and presents a rule (love) that is bound by relationships

– God is not looking for a transactional relationship, where “we don’t break his rules and he gives us good stuff… and doesn’t kill us.” He wants a relationship of true love and affection. But that relationship is proved by our behaviour – we let the sinful nature die; we let the fruit of the Spirit grow.

Shack passage on expectation?

Five love languages

Relationship book

great book for raising kids

great book for dealing with your own lack of feeling loved - different love language

The idea is that each of us has a natural love language – a way that we receive and show love to others. We can learn other love languages, but just as our first spoken language will always be our fall-back position, our natural love language will always be the way that we most easily receive and give love.

Words of Affirmation – encourage one another – without agenda

“You look great in that dress!”

“You must be the best potato cook in the world. I love these potatoes!”

“I really appreciate your washing the dishes tonight.”

“I really appreciate you taking out the garbage”..

- finding what people do well and telling them


Quality Time – giving the other your undivided attention

Receiving Gifts – Gifts tell a person that you are thinking about them and their heart – gifts are about what they would like to receive, not what you would like to give.

Acts of Service – routine acts of service – the stuff that needs to get done.

Physical Touch – Not just “romantic” touch, but all sorts of affectionate touch.

Read the book, discover your and your spouse’s love language and then love them!

Other books:

The Five Love Languages for Children, for Teens, for Singles…

Men’s Edition

What is God’s love language?

Not gifts:

Isaiah 1 – people are performing religious rites, but they are not following God in the important things:

11 "The multitude of your sacrifices—

what are they to me?" says the LORD.

"I have more than enough of burnt offerings,

of rams and the fat of fattened animals;

I have no pleasure

in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.

12 When you come to appear before me,

who has asked this of you,

this trampling of my courts?

15 When you spread out your hands in prayer,

I will hide my eyes from you;

even if you offer many prayers,

I will not listen.

Your hands are full of blood;

16 wash and make yourselves clean.

Take your evil deeds

out of my sight!

Stop doing wrong,

17 learn to do right!

Seek justice,

encourage the oppressed.

Defend the cause of the fatherless,

plead the case of the widow.

18 "Come now, let us reason together,"

says the LORD.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

19 If you are willing and obedient,

you will eat the best from the land;

20 but if you resist and rebel,

you will be devoured by the sword."

For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Micah 6:6-8 (Today’s New International Version)

With what shall I come before the LORD

and bow down before the exalted God?

Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,

with calves a year old?

7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,

with ten thousand rivers of oil?

8 He has shown all you people what is good.

And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.

God’s Love language – a bit of a trick question – Obedience.

Read John 14:15-24

If you love me you will keep my commandments

- not a power move – obeying God will be the best life we could possibly live as well. He wants us to obey for our sake, for creation’s sake, not for His sake

Jesus gives us a great example of loving the father through obedience.

It is not obedience through cohesion, or compulsion, but obedience as an act of love.

You can see this beautifully expressed in Jesus’ Baptism

Matthew 3

13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. 14 But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?"

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