Summary: Howard Hendricks said, “If your faith doesn’t work at home, it doesn’t work."

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Hey big guy, practice what you preach.

Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk.

Three Reasons to believe that computers are female:

1. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

2. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it and desiring an upgrade.

3. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

Three Reasons to believe that computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

Last week: The way wives win.

Father’s day weekend: Conflict revolution.

Last in the series: Reconcilable differences

If you’re a girl or a single woman, you can learn what to look for in a man. Don’t settle for a pseudo man – a cheap substitute. If you’re a married woman, the outline of this talk can be used as a prayer guide. This is prayer fuel for prayer for your husband.

I have to laugh at Bill Cosby’s analysis about who’s really in charge in a marriage. He said, “Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: The wife is in charge. Or, to put it another way, the man not. My proof of the point is a simple one. If any man truly believes that he is the boss of his house, then let him do this: Pick up the phone, call a wallpaper store, order new wallpaper for one of the rooms in the house, and then put it on. He would have a longer life expectancy sprinkling arsenic on his eggs. He’d be auditioning for the Bureau of missing persons.”

God’s Word doesn’t say who’s supposed to have the responsibility to pick out wallpaper. But it does tell us about the responsibility of the wife and the husband in marriage.

Last week, we looked at I Peter 3:1-6 and learned truths about the problems we face in marriage. We saw that marriage problems began at the fall – in the garden. At that point, the heart of the husband’s problem became the problem of the husband’s heart. And the heart of the wife’s problem became the problem of the wife’s heart. God’s perfect plan for marriage was marred.

Instead of husbands leading with love, we fell to one of two extremes – sometimes vacillating between them both.

Passivity or


Instead of wives responding with passion, they fell t one of two extremes – sometimes vacillating between them both.

Door mats or

Brick walls.

And so, sine wrecks our families. The problems in our hearts make for problems in the home.

There’s the passive husband/door mat wife marriage.

There’s the abusive husband/door mat wife marriage.

There’s the passive husband/brick wall marriage.

There’s the abusive husband/ brick wall marriage.

Where is your marriage?

Husbands, God wants you to lead with tenderness.

Wives, God wants you to respond with passion.

Since we are here today to deal with the husband’s responsibilities, we must reemphasize this point: A real man is not passive or abusive. A real man is not impotent or on steroids. A real man leads lovingly. A real man takes initiative with tenderness.

Unfortunately, most men are far more comfortable at taking the initiative in the marketplace than they are in the home. On the job, men develop mission statements, set goals, solve problems, coordinate staff meetings, establish new strategies, create, innovate. They move! But at home, they freeze… until they get mad and then they explode.

There is a male leadership vacuum in our homes!

One of the wives I heard from last week wrote to me, “I truly believe that the reason many women struggle with their Biblical role at home and in the church is because the men in their lives are abusing their role.”

Last week, we considered one of Dr. Phil’s big questions, “How’s it working for you?” In other words, how’s marriage your way working? Why not try it God’s way?

What would happen if we really took God seriously? What if we learned and then lived out our Biblical roles as men and women, husbands and wives?

God doesn’t want less for our lives, but the best for our lives. God’s way liberates us, it frees us, it emancipates us. God’s way will not rob us from anything.

With that as a background, let’s see what God has to say to us today.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

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