Summary: A comparison of God's plan for our gift of life and God's plan for our exiting life. Our thoughts processes in the sincerity of our heart queried before God for public review.
I Never Questioned God And I Won't Question Him Now
“And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation” (Exodus 34:6-7, King James Version, KJV [God's covenant with Israel]).
Greetings in the Matchless Name of Jesus,
Since my father died in '87, my mother died in '92, my brother died in '97, my sister died in '03, my nephew died in '03, my sister died in '05, my brother died in '05, my niece died in '07, my sister died in '08, my brother-in-law, of the sister, who died in '03, died in '12, my brother-in-law, of the sister, who died in '05, died in '12, my brother-in-law died in '13. Finally, when my friend died, in '13, I asked, “Why did you have to take ___?” I said his name, which was hard for me, to say. I caught myself and said, “I never questioned God and I won't question him now.
Those folks were my close family. Some of those folks were closer than the others, at different times, in my life, they seemed to come forth, more noticeable than the others, when I needed just them, only them, for their gift, from God and now I just missed them, when I needed them with their special way of doing things and saying things. In less than a week before my friend died, I told him, “I wanted to call you to come rescue me”, when we spoke of a time when I did need him to rescue me from the folks who were near me, persecuting me, nailing me to the cross, like the folks did Christ Jesus. Amazingly, he needed me more than I needed him, a week later, for my way of motivating folks to climb higher heights, in performance, for righteousness sake. He needed me at that hospital, demanding best performance, not mediocre performance.
How could he suffer a heart attack and die! My God! My God! My God!
For Christ's sake, he was in the hospital. I thought of all the campaigns of television, telling you to just get to the hospital. The commercial spots said, “Take aspirin every day as a blood thinner, so your blood will not clot up, forcing you into a heart attack”; “Pinch yourself between your thumb and index finger to stimulate yourself, so the heart attack will not get the best of you, until you get to the hospital”, “Pant like a dog, so the heart attack does not get the best of you, so you can make it to the hospital”. Well, my friend was in the hospital.
Why did the medical staff not miraculously heal him, like the commercials said, was possible, only if, you could make it to the hospital, then, you could survive. Now, we know, the truth. You must call on Jesus. My friend was spiritual.
In my friend's obituary he said he read the bible from cover to cover in grammar school, as a child. I knew he knew the Lord. Maybe, he was just ready to go because when I said, “I wanted to call you to come rescue me”, he did not say anything. Sincerity in love, bubbled up, as we held on to that brief moment of silence.
My friend knew I depended on him but he also knew I never sacrificed him, I opted always to protect him, since he broke his neck in an almost fatal car accident in '93. He survived the car accident. They said he made it through the thyroid surgery. You see, that was the reason why he was in the hospital but after the surgery, he suffered a heart attack.
My friend did not make it through the heart attack. Why did he not go to a teaching hospital, with all the high-tech equipment and motivated top performers in the field of medicine using new procedures? Why did he not go, at least to a trauma center; a hospital, with surgeons used to, quickly performing best and performing miracles, with the techniques, instruments, equipment, and the presence of God, everyday? Am I questioning God about what folks did or did not do, in a life or death situation? Did I do this each time, a beloved one died?
I must promise myself to let go and let God, give and take away. My friend, let go and let God, take him away. One of my brothers, overheard my cry, said, “We all have to go. You have to go. I