Summary: Finding someone to get into a Jonathan/David friendship is not up to you. It’s up to God. But, when God does bring that person into your life, then it is up to you to maintain that relationship through God or it will fall into disrepair.
Series Title: What are Friends for?
Message Title: One in Spirit (fifth in the series)
(1 Samuel 18:1) After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.
Only a couple of times in one’s life will God lead you across the path of someone that will become as close to you as Jonathan did to David. Of course, we are not talking of our spouse. A spouse comes first in our thoughts and in our love when we think of someone on this earth. And, our spouse could and should become closer to us than the Jonathon/David relationship. But, as societal creatures, some people need more. More interaction, more talking, more sharing, more dependency, … so we seek out, in God’s guidance, our own Jonathon relationship.
We have said many times that relationships take love and care to maintain. A relationship that is not maintained with love and care will quickly fall into disrepair. The two friends will grow apart until there is no semblance of friendship, and you’ll seem like strangers the next time that you meet.
Relationships must be nurtured and cared for. We could compare nurturing and caring for a friendship to a gardener caring for a delicate flower. However, if your friendship needs such a delicate hand as that gardener needs with that delicate flower, then you’re in trouble. No, friendships need the deep-reaching cultivating tools of a produce farmer. Friendships sometimes need the big sharp edges of the pruning shears to cut back unnecessary growth in one direction or the constant tending of the caretaker’s hoe to get rid of those pesky weeds.
Do you have a Jonathon/David friendship? Jonathon came into David’s life at just the right time. Just when David needed him, he appeared. And, I’m sure that Jonathon needed David as well. We say that because you can’t have this type of relationship and it be only one-sided! Scripture presents us with several ways to determine whether or not you have a Jonathon/David friendship.
Friends Covenant with each other
Friends Share with each other
Friends Protect each other
Friends Speak well of each other
Friends Surrender to each other
Friends Mutually help each other (to find strength in God)
Friends Covenant with each other
I remember when I was young, how about you? For me, the words, I promise seemed like it was always on my lips. Or, even the cross my heart and hope to die kind of promise was made more than a few times. It seems the younger we are the easier it is to make a promise and, yes, the easier it is to break a promise.
As we grow older, the less promises we make. And, if we do make a promise, it’s likely to be watered down with numerous conditions rendering any mistake on anyone’s part as oh well. I once even heard a young actor in a TV interview say that promises are like rules and New Year’s resolutions, they are made to be broken. If you, like the young arrogant and selfish actor, have indeed plummeted to that low point of existence, I would caution you against trying to establish any kind of relationships, much less friendships. Instead, you should work on your relationship with God!
But, let’s say you’ve allowed God to smooth out that relationship with Him, and He has now brought someone into your life that you seem to enjoy being around. And, the other person enjoys being around you as well. What do you do? How do you progress? Maybe you’ve been burned in the past by someone that was a take, take, take, kind of friend and you don’t want to get into something like that again.
Discuss it! If you feel that you want to develop a good and deep friendship with another, there probably is a chance that the other person has the same inclination. So…ASK! What do you ask?
(1 Samuel 18:3) And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
The scripture tells us that Jonathan made a covenant with David…because he loved him as himself. We have to remember that these two were at a very special point in each of their lives. Jonathon, the son of a king, and in the line to succeed his father as king. And, David, a shepherd that was selected and newly anointed by God to be the next king of Israel. Jonathon had the positional authority, yet David had the special anointing of God. How could they hope to pursue any kind of friendship with those obstacles? At the very least, these two men should have been on less than speaking terms with each other. But, they weren’t. Why? Because God brought them together in one spirit, the Spirit of God! Both men truly loved God, and God was the Center of their affection. With that, they knew and understood their positions and their authority, and they made a covenant with each other. It was a covenant of love, a love that is founded in God. It was brotherly love, yet sustained by the agape love of God.