Summary: New meaning for the phrase "bonds of matrimony."
Woodworking and Marriage
16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. KJV
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. KJV
kollao (kol-lah’-o); from kolla ("glue"); to glue, i.e. (passively or reflexively) to stick (figuratively):
KJV-cleave, join (self), keep company.
23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. KJV
OT: 1692 dabaq (daw-bak’); a primitive root; properly, to impinge, i.e. cling or adhere; figuratively, to catch by pursuit:
KJV-abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.
(Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.)
It is obvious that God takes marriage and sex quite seriously. Through the centuries, no marriage was considered binding until it was consummated. This was so important that in one culture the parents would s it on either side of the bed to assure that it had happened and to assure that no questions about the virginity of the bride would arise.
Others were more discreet about it, but they still found a way to ensure that the wedding was consummated. Virginity was not as important in some cultures, but consummation was important in all. Even today, there is a debate over the estate of a very old man because the family states that his marriage to a very young and voluptuous woman was never consummated.
Since God uses the phrase "one flesh" in both a marriage and one night stand reference it would appear that He views sex to be the act of consummating a marriage. Many are hung up over certificates and rituals, which are not bad and indeed very beneficial. Some think that it is the only way to be married so they skip the certificate. However, it would appear that if a single man and woman were stranded on an island, gave up hope for being rescued and decided to have sex if they fell in love or just to make the best of a bad situation God would consider them married once they had sex. What they or society would think about it if they were rescued after a long period would not matter. To God, they are man and wife.
Some of us would think that is OK or logical because we recognize common law marriage. Each state has various laws as to when that occurs. Many people do not realize that they went to bed shacking up and woke up married because they crossed over the timeframe that the state has set which can be as low as sixty days. Nonetheless, they do become married in the eyes of the law and can lose property or custody of children should one of the "spouses" find this out during the "divorce."
Most of us would not see a one-night stand as a marriage, but it clearly appears that God does. This is good news and bad news. The bad news is that many folks are married to far more people than they think and are polygamists in God’s eyes though they have never had a ceremony or a certificate and He does not condone polygamy though He has tolerated it like all our other sins.
A married man has a one-night fling on a business trip. That is adultery, but since he has now been joined to the harlot does it mean when he returns home and makes love to his wife that it is also adultery? He is now cheating on his harlot wife. A single man is engaged and since he is engaged it is OK to start having sex with his fiancée or so we think. Then something goes awry and they do not marry. He eventually marries. Is he committing adultery on his wedding night? Our society would say no and most of the Christians reading this are thinking that I have finally gone off the deep end. Remember, God said that His thoughts are not ours and His ways are not ours. (Isaiah 55:8)
It is easy to see one of the reasons that God’s way is one man and one woman for life. It is far less complicated to be sure. The good news is that verse does lend some argument to eternal security. If a one-night stand equates to a marriage/one flesh relationship in God’s eyes and we who are joined to Him are one spirit when we are born again through our one act of faith then we are secure because God hates putting away or divorce. Also, as my next illustration will show, His spirit cannot be broken or torn in pieces.