There is nothing more painful than having unhealthy communication with the one you love. It is through communication that we connect and our spirits touch. If that connection becomes contaminated, it is only a matter of time before the whole relationship is poisoned. In the process of communication, wisdom is knowing what not to say as well as what to say. Therefore, I gathered together some close friends and asked them what not to say to your spouse. Here is their list:
"I told you so."
"You’re just like your mother."
"You’re always in a bad mood."
"You just don’t think."
"It’s your fault."
"What’s wrong with you?"
"All you ever do is complain."
"I can’t do anything to please you."
"You get what you deserve."
"Why don’t you ever listen to me?"
"Can’t you be more responsible?"
"What were you thinking?"
"I don’t know why I put up with you."
"I can talk to you until I’m blue in the face and it doesn’t do any good."
"I can do whatever I like."
"If you don’t like it, you can just leave."
"Can’t you do anything right?"
"That was stupid."
"All you ever do is think of yourself."
"If you really loved me, you’d do this."
"You’re such a baby."
"Turnabout’s fair play."
"You deserve a dose of your own medicine."
"What’s your problem?"
"I can never understand you."
"Do you always have to be right?"
Source: Steve Stephens, from Stories for the Heart, compiled by Alice Gray, Multnomah Books, c. 1996, p. 175.
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