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CARRYING GUILT


When I was a summer chaplain, I visited a person in the ICU hooked up to the machines and such, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with grief that I also had a strong panic attack. Although the patient looked nothing like my grandfather, I was just suddenly stuck with the picture of him right before he died. It was like I was back in that hospital room in 1992.


Through the group process and a counselor, I realized that I had some unresolved grief issues that I had carried for a half decade. But as I dug deeper and peeled back the onion, I realized that I also carried some guilt for leaving to go to work on the day that he died, even though I had no idea how long he might hang on.


Then even as I wrote this sermon, I suddenly connected that this may have been an additional reason why I am so thankful that I was able to spend the night in prayer at my grandmother’s side as she passed.

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