Sermon Illustrations

Chemistry 101 -- Table of Elements

Two new additions to the Periodic Table of Elements:

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight:(don’t even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may

freeze at anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong

affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180 +/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of

shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust & aging, samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.

Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time (1 hour).

Usage: None known. Possibly a good methane source.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to


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