Sermon Illustrations

THE MEN’S THESAURUS

(men don’t always say what they mean) – excerpts:

When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING"

He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"

When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER"

He means: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR"

He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.

When a man says ’’IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

He means: "I have no idea how it works"

When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’

He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"

When a man says ’THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR.’

He means: "Are you still talking?"

When a man says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

He means: " I can remember the theme song to ’F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but I forgot your birthday"

When a man says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL"

He means: "I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt"

When a man says ’I CAN’T FIND IT.’’

He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I’m completely clueless"

When a man says “I HEARD YOU.”

He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping...

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