Summary: Most married couples have a barrier between them. But they don't even realize it. Thus, they operate with a major handicap. What can be done about it? God only knows. But the walls can come down by the grace of God!

I. Realize your problem – Obvious symptoms.

A. Blame - He had an affair; it’s all his fault. I wasn’t supportive, encouraging, etc.

B. Denial - Worked hard, good provider, don’t know why?

C. Bitter - Saw my father do that, not me! Interpret everything in light of the


D. Vindictive - say cruel things, take it out on kids, hostile at work, even road rage

E. You must deal with past baggage & faulty coping mechanisms . . . God’s way!

II. Resolve your past - Dealing with those responsible . . . God’s way!

A. Receive God’s forgiveness. Assume responsibility for your own failure in the marriage. James 5:16

1. Repent - Change your thinking, admit you’re wrong or at fault.

2. Replace - Exchange false beliefs for the truth. Mark 1:15, Luke 24:47 (repentance and remission of sin)

B. Extending God’s forgiveness. Romans 12:19-21

1. You are not judge, jury or executioner.

2. Vengeance is God’s responsibility.

3. Go and be reconciled. Matthew 5:23-25

4. “I forgive you person’s name.” Ephesians 4:32 Jesus said upon the cross

“Father forgive them.” Luke 23:34

True forgiveness goes the 2nd mile, overcoming evil with good. Not

because they deserve it, but because the love of God compels you.

III. Release the captive - free indeed . . . God’s way!

A. Freedom from guilt - I am forgiven!

B. Freedom from shame - I am clean!

C. Freedom from condemnation - I am loved!

D. Freedom from rejection - I am accepted!

IV. Restore your dignity - you attitude toward yourself . . . God’s way!

A. God forgives me - I forgive myself.

B. God accepts me - I accept myself.

C. God loves me - I love myself.

Copyright©2003 Dr. Lewis Gregory, Source Ministries International

You are encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way. Please give credit to the author in any printed publications.

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